


Temper Tantrum

by Quibbles



Category: GOT7
Genre: Canon, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6819838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quibbles/pseuds/Quibbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which JB's temper is always directed at Jackson and Jackson thinks he might know why. AKA, JB has a crush and keeping secrets has never been a strong suit of his. [Early established relationship].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mad

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first GOT7 fic, and first time writing in a couple years. Please support me as I wriggle the dust off my fingers, thanks!

It was the time of day when everything got on everyone’s nerves, when time seemed to stretch on and each glance at the clock served to do nothing more than frustrate, as the seconds ticked on, painfully long. This time of day affected no one more than GOT7’s leader, who, for all his fantastic traits, could not boast an even-temper. When it got like this, anything in his line of vision that was just a little it off would set him into a short rage, and there sat Jackson, huddled on the floor, a concoction of blond, tousled hair and a thick cotton sweater, the hood pulled right over his ears. There he sat—on his phone. To be entirely fair, although JB was in no mood to be entirely fair, using one’s phone wasn’t against the rules per say. To be entirely fair, Jackson had just flown cross-country immediately after filming a variety episode. To be entirely fair, he had less moves to learn because of his extensive rap sequence in this particular song. With each deft swipe of those taut fingers, JB felt himself battling an intense, twitching anger, his brows coiling like tight springs in a Grandfather clock.

  
“If you don’t get up and join the group I’m kicking you out of the room.” The words escaped unapologetically, unfurling themselves towards Jackson. The silence in the room didn’t help. Five collective sets of baited breaths waited to release themselves. JB trained sharp, eyes on Jackson, feeling him out. Jackson. Jackson had this thing over him that he hated. The ability to make him so mad he couldn’t control it, the ability to make him so deliriously happy it shot into the realm of misery just as quickly. Jackson sometimes looked up at him and it knocked the breath right out of him and he hated it. And now his head was down, still swiping and tapping and typing on that damned phone and every second he didn’t pay attention to JB drove him madder. He needed Jackson to look at him like he needed to breathe.

  
Across the room, Youngjae and Yugyeom exchanged loaded glances, pretending to practice when they really were shitting themselves. Jackson had a tendency not to take JB seriously when he got like this until it was too late, and they both hoped this wouldn’t be one of those cases, because when it got like that, everything went to hell and enough said. Finally, finally, Jackson glanced up from where he sat carelessly, cross-legged, his hoodie falling away from his hair and it pissed JB off how he noticed the way Jackson’s hair fell into place just so. Why was he so damningly gorgeous. “One second hyung.” Jackson mumbled, his eye contact not lasting even a second before returning to his phone. “I’m in a heated conversation.”

  
A heated conversation. With who? Who was he talking to why was he talking to them why now why heated why for so long why, who, why, why? Thoughts knocked around painfully in JB’s mind, crowding each other, petulantly begging to be acknowledged. ‘Notice me, I’d like to cripple your self esteem please.’

  
“Jackson, I mean it.” JB’s jaw was tight, and it was tight to begin with. He could feel the other members locked in on their interaction—their attempts to be subtle were failing miserably—and it only served to upset him more. There was little worse than being disrespected, to be disrespected in front of the entire group was much worse. A silence stretched across the room like salt-water taffy, and Jackson was blissfully unaware, clicking around his phone as JB seethed, his fists curled at his side, quivering. By now, other members had stopped what they were doing, standing there, still unbreathing, distraught. Yugyeom’s eyes flicked around the room for some semblance of comfort, biting hard on his lips to stop them trembling.  
Finally, after far too long, Jackson looked up. “Done, see?” He said brightly, flashing his token grin and flicking his hair out of his eyes. He stood quickly and pet JB on the shoulder, moving to join the group. The energy in the room was electric, and the other members stood stock-still, uncertain. JB’s eyes trained on Jackson as he strode off, and he wondered if Jackson truly couldn’t tell how upset he was, or if he was really bold enough to blatantly ignore it. Neither reason was acceptable.

  
“Give me your phone.” The words escaped him before he had time to think through them. Something about Jackson made him lose it sometimes. Something about how he never seemed to have a care in the world, while he himself never had that luxury. “You’ve lost that privilege.”

  
Jackson was nearly across the room by now, and he turned to look at JB quizzically. “I won’t use it anymore, promise.” The words were almost too light, as if he had worked to drag the weight from them, and his eyes flickered, like for a moment it might have been dawning on him that the situation wasn’t as relaxed as he might have thought. Never had anyone had their phone confiscated before. This wasn’t a B-list high school, it was a group of adult males in an adult male group. For someone to have their phone taken away from them would be…offensive.

  
“Give me your phone.” JB repeated, striding towards Jackson, and he got so close to the other boy he could smell yesterdays cologne, and it annoyed him the way it made his heart jump even while he was this upset. Jackson gave him a look that made him want to withdraw his order, but he couldn’t do that now, the words had been said and who was he if not a man of his word.

  
“Hyung…” Jackson mumbled, suddenly looking embarrassed. “I need it, ok?” He glanced at the floor and then into JB’s eyes. Jackson’s eyes were deep pools of emotion, and when he furrowed his brow like that he was so fucking endearing. JB felt his heart do that stupid skip thing again, felt his pulse quicken. ‘Fuck.’ Why did Jackson have this control over him. He hated that, he hated that when Jackson looked at him like that the anger melted right out of him and he wanted to make him smile again. He stood there for a moment, listless, and he would have backed down if not for the curiosity and anticipation in Bambam’s and Yugyeom’s faces.

  
If he backed down, he would look weak now. And he couldn’t afford that, not so close to their comeback. The team was only as its weakest link, and its leader. Pride filled his chest as he grabbed Jackson’s phone from his fingers. “Pay attention.” He snapped, turning away. He felt awful, he’d hated the look that had flashed across Jackson’s face and the way his hand had flinched when JB touched him. JB didn’t want Jackson to flinch when he touched him. Fuck. For the rest of practice, the two of them exchanged neither words nor glances, and Jackson had an expressionless look on his face, and JB felt like shit. In his pocket Jackson’s phone vibrated frantically and he hated whoever was on the other end. Rehearsal ended eventually, and everyone quickly and quietly filed out of the room. JB handed Jackson his phone and Jackson took it without making eye contact, before turning and walking ahead of the group. JB wondered why it had mattered to him so much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been a week since the phone incident and JB was very aware that Jackson had not had a conversation with him. In that week he had realized two things. 1. He had to get his temper under control and 2. He had a massive crush on Jackson Wang. The second conclusion was a little more monumental than the first, but it was the combination of the two that had lead him to where he was now, drinking alone in his room. Youngjae was out with some friends, taking advantage of their free night, and he could hear Bambam and Yugyeom watching Marvel movies in the living room, sporadically yelling at the television with mouths full of popcorn and chicken stir fry.

  
He was on his fourth beer and second melancholy playlist, mulling over his newfound discovery. So he had a crush on Jackson, and it made sense that everyone Jackson did drove him crazy in one way or the other. He loved how passionate and talented Jackson was. He was fearless and bold and talkative and his high pitched laugh and mop of hair drove JB crazy. His toes curled in his socks as he let thoughts of Jackson wash over him, letting the warmth of the beer fill him up, leaning back against his bed. ‘What kind of leader am I to let my feelings for him get in the way of our relationship?’ he thought foggily. If he didn’t like Jackson so much, he wouldn’t have gotten so upset with him in rehearsal, and Jackson would be talking to him right now He bit his lips, letting the look Jackson had given him play in his mind over and over again till it left an ache in his chest. He felt disappointed himself for his behaviour, and embarrassment burned in his cheeks and ears. Resting the empty bottle on the ground, he looked over himself and shook his head, which was an awful idea because It started spinning. He stood, shakily, deciding there was no use letting this go on any longer. Over the past week he and Jackson hadn’t seen each other much outside of practice, but they hadn’t talked at all and he missed him so much.

  
And more importantly, it mattered for the group that they have a good relationship. He smoothed his sweater out as if prepping for a job interview, and shoved his bedroom door open, the light blinding him. Bambam and Yugyeom glanced at him briefly before returning to their yelling match at the tv and he strode past them to Jackson’s room, knocking deftly at the door. He was going to fix things. For a while nothing happened, and adrenaline and alcohol coursed through his veins. He stared at the little picture of Jackson on his door and willed for Jackson to smile at him like that.

  
“Hyung?” Jackson was standing there and JB looked up suddenly. How long had he been standing there? He was wearing one of his tank tops that revealed arms and collarbones and sun-kissed skin and it was nearly too much. The way his biceps dipped in and out like a finely crafted sculpture, the fine dusting of hair on his forearms, even the way his fingers curled at his side. Everything. “JB.” Jackson said again, crossing his arms, and shit, he’d been staring hadn’t he? JB reached out with heavy hands, resting them on Jackson’s shoulders. “I have to talk to you.” He whispered dramatically, glancing behind him towards the offending parties in the living room. “Can I? Alone?” Jackson’s muscles underneath his hands felt better than they looked, he was so warm, goddamn.

  
“Okay…” Jackson said slowly, searching JB’s eyes with his own, opening his door a little wider. JB stared at him for a while longer because Jackson was so, so gorgeous and he couldn’t help it, before smoothly pulling his hands back and walking inside. ‘Mark’s out.” Jackson offered, carding his fingers through his hair before replacing his cap. “I’m not actually…sure where.”

  
JB stood by the bunk bed, unsure as whether to sit or not. He had so many things he wanted to say. ‘I’m sorry, I was a bad leader, I didn’t mean to yell at you, who was on your phone, I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I like you, I like you.’ Every thought fought to be heard over the last, knocking around in his pounding skull. ‘Choose one, just say something.’ He thought urgently, his brow furrowing, feeling his body tense. Jackson’s arms were still crossed and he was looking at him quizzically, his jaw working.

  
“Jaebu-“

  
“I miss your smile.” JB finally breathed, collapsing unto Mark’s bed, weight knocked out of him. “I miss the way you’d smile at me and make me feel like everything was ok.”  
Jackson’s eyes trained on him, his expression flickering, but JB didn’t look up. “I’m sorry for yelling at you in rehearsal.” He said quietly. “It was…it was bad leadership and…I didn’t….I have a bad temper, I’m sorry.”

  
“Why….” Jackson’s question lingered, unfinished. He cleared his throat, trying again. “Why do you always get mad at me.”

  
JB looked up to him. Shit, shit, shit. The expression on Jackson’s face was a mixture of confusion and defeat. He knew how to deal with cheeky Jackson, loud and outspoken Jackson. Defeated? Where was the tutorial on that??

  
“I—“ He stood up, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to think of any answer that didn’t involve ‘Like you’. “I….” he walked towards Jackson, who was still looking at him with that same longing expression that tugged at his heart. “I…Shit.” JB groaned. And he couldn’t think of anything to say, and every second Jackson looked like that made him hurt.

  
“Do you hate me?” Jackson offered finally. His voice was thin.

  
“Jackson, I have the biggest crush on you.” JB said quickly, meeting Jackson’s eyes. “It’s...it’s messing everything up. I like you so much. I hate it when you don’t talk to me. I hate it when you don’t pay attention to me. I get so…so jealous…I…” The words spilled from his lips like hot coffee, burning on the way out, waking him up. “I get frustrated that I see you all the time and you smile at me with those lips and those eyes and I just want to kiss you and I can’t. Fighting it every day is so…so hard and I just hate it. I hate it. So then I get mad…”  
Jackson was staring into his eyes, his expression relaxed. His arms had fallen to his sides, and he almost looked like he was smiling. JB looked down, feeling his cheeks start to flush. “Say something.” He whispered. “Or I’ll keep saying more things and I’m…not good at that.” He finished, dragging his hoodie over his head and pulling it shut, hiding away.

  
“You get mad at me…because you have a crush on me?” Jackson tested. “Like, a real crush?”  
“Are you going to mention now that you’re a total homophobe? Because I’ve seen you with Bambam…” JB trailed, his voice muffled behind his little hoodie cocoon. Jackson shook his head, stepping towards him and pulling the hoodie away. “I’m not a homophobe.” He said gently.

  
“And I’m not gay…” JB said quickly. “I just. I like you.” It felt good to say, and even though his heart was pounding so hard in his chest he didn’t feel scared. Something about the way Jackson looked at him made him feel so alive. He felt himself floating off the ground, untouchable, the warming haze of alcohol keeping him safe. Jackson’s fingers brushing his cheek and JB lifted his fingers to brush Jackson’s hair back. Jackson was smiling now. “Why do you like me?” he asked.

  
“Because…you put up with all my bullshit…you’re never afraid of me. Which means you’re very brave.” JB said, and Jackson nodded. “You work hard and you’re already looking out for other members even when you’re exhausted. You have a great sense of humour, you’re so devoted and intelligent. And you’re…cute.” JB felt his ears going red.

  
“I thought of a million reasons as to why you got mad at me…this one never crossed my mind.” Jackson said, shaking his head. “Actually, it makes me pretty happy.”

  
“Yeah…” JB suddenly felt courage draining from him, and he realized how close they were standing in the dimly lit room. “Well.” He cleared his throat unceremoniously. “That’s why...and I will try hard to be better. Please bear with me.” He bowed quickly, stepping aside to move out of the room. What else was there to say? He had just made a massive confession that he’d probably regret in the morning. Already his fingers were getting cold.  
“Wait!” Jackson said quickly, grabbing his wrist and turning JB to face him. “What kind of confession is that? You’re just going to leave?” Mirth was in his eyes and JB couldn’t tell if he was being teased.

  
“I’m embarrassed.” He admitted. “Don’t be weird about it.”

  
“I won’t be.” Jackson looked like he was thinking, his eyes flitting all over JB’s face, making him feel vulnerable. There was silence between them. Then, “What if I have kind of a crush on you too?”  
JB’s head snapped up quickly and he narrowed his eyes. “Then I’d be pretty mad you left me hanging for so long.”

  
“Mh…there’s that temper again.” Jackson teased, and JB felt his face go hot. They were standing close together by the door and Jackson’s hand still held his wrist. “What if I need to kiss you to tell?” Jackson continued, his smile fading. “What if…I’ve been thinking I might like my leader, but it might be a bad idea if he didn’t like me back. Because sometimes he looks at me like he likes me, and sometimes he looks at me like he hates me.”  
“I’m sorry…” JB frowned. “I’m sorry Jackson…” he felt so awful, but his heart still raced in his chest because this was turning out to be the best outcome he could have imagined and Jackson was so close to him and he could smell him and maybe kiss him soon. “I like you. Can I show you how much I like you?” His heart kept rattling in his chest and he felt Jackson’s grip on his wrist tighten a little.

  
“I’ve never kissed a guy before.” Jackson confessed suddenly, as JB moved towards him. JB said nothing because if he said anything he’d totally lose it. Jackson smelled so good his head was spinning, everything about him was intoxicating. Jackson let go of his wrist and raised a shaky hand around his shoulder and JB grinned because ha, he made the great J-Flawless nervous. He tilted his chin down just a bit to press a chaste kiss to Jackson’s lips. He wasn’t actually sure how long to hold it for or what to do, but it felt so good to touch Jackson he didn’t feel like thinking. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s waist, pulling him close, and Jackson made a small sound in the back of his throat, like he was thinking. JB pulled back quizzically. “Is that all you got?” Jackson breathed, still managing to sounded cocky. JB smiled and moved in again, this time pressing Jackson flush against the door and pinning his arms above his head on either side of him. Jackson smiled that smile that made JB feel like a man, his lips parting in invitation.

JB kissed him again, opening Jackson’s mouth with his, and Jackson tasted like literal honey, making soft sounds as their kiss intensified. JB tried to keep calm, feeling his head buzzing and hot as Jackson’s chest and stomach against his did crazy things to him. He could feel that Jackson’s shirt had ridden up and if he looked down he’d see that treasure trail that made his mind blank. He could feel Jackson’s chest rising and falling faster and faster, the quickening pulse in his wrists where JB held him still. JB pressed his palms against Jackson’s and kissed him deeper, tentatively pressing his tongue into Jackson’s mouth. Jackson groaned contentedly, intertwining his fingers with JB, satisfied. It felt like forever and no time at all that they explored each others mouths, and Jackson just kept tasting better and better. JB moved his hands to pull Jackson against him and Jackson looked at him and grinned. “Wow...I like you.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around JB’s shoulders and burying his head against his neck. He smelt like raspberry shampoo. JB’s heartbeat picked up and he wanted to keep kissing Jackson forever but he wanted to hold him like this too. He was so warm and intoxicating and fucking adorable. He breathed out and pressed his nose to Jackson’s hair as Jackson thumbed the back of his neck. Urgh.

  
Eventually, after the best 30 seconds of JB’s life, Jackson lifted his head and looked at him. “I like you but…” he bit his lip and JB’s heart stopped. “But I’m sleepy.” He finished.  
JB’s eyes widened and he shook Jackson in frustration. “YAH! Stop doing that!” He griped, watching Jackson melt into his token laughter shriek. “I dunno…if you were like planning on ‘getting some’ tonight.” Jackson continued, suddenly serious.

  
“Ah!” JB blushed. “No! I mean. No! I just…” He felt his whole face heat up. “It’s not like that!”  
Jackson grinned again. “It’s so easy to get you, leader hyung.” He giggled, pressing his lips to JB’s cheek not unlike he usually would, but suddenly, it had such a different meaning.  
“I’m going.” JB huffed, but he couldn’t help smiling.

  
“You could go.” Jackson said, stepping back. “Or you could sleep with me.”

  
JB grinned so widely his eyes disappeared and Jackson mumbled ‘cute’ and then JB went red again and this would take some getting used to but damn he was happy. “I guess.” He grinned.


	2. 9:30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson is left to fend for himself in regards to why JB is in his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter is told from Jackson’s perspective because why not!

 

When Jackson woke up, the sun that peeked through the drawn blinds let him know it wasn’t too late in the morning. He’d ended up falling asleep pretty early because his day had been so exhausting. In the last week he had been on 7 planes and it felt so good to be back in the dorm with the boys. He could faintly hear the tv in the living room, which meant Bambam and Yugyeom had probably passed out with it left on. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and glanced at his phone.

 

**9:30.**

Beside him, JB snored softly, his arm flung over his face in unconscious defense against the sun. His sharp features were relaxed and soft in the morning light, and his fingers curled into a fist against the pillow. He was wedged in the corner of the little twin bunkbed—really it hadn’t been the greatest idea for the two of them to share a bed, but they’d kissed some more before falling asleep and it had totally been worth it. Jackson bit his lip, thinking about it. Last night had been pretty unexpected…

 

Although not entirely.

 

Jackson Wang was a little more astute than he let on, and he’d definitely picked up on some overt glances from JB over the course of the past couple months in particular. At first they’d left him feeling flattered, and lately…they’d left him feeling longing. He stared at JB, wondering how cheesy it would be to reach over and kiss his slightly flushed cheek, then decided against it because beer breath probably wasn’t great. Kissing JB had been fantastic, and he was really excited to do it again without the taste of alcohol. He slipped out of the bed, padding lightly to the floor, stretching briefly. It was so quiet and calm…

“Mh, yo.” Mark mumbled, and Jackson nearly jumped right out of his skin. “OH! Hey!” He piped loudly. “You’re back! You came back and here you are!”

Mark scratched his head sleepily, unfazed by Jackson’s pitch—it was pretty typical. “Yeah, last night ended up being pretty chill…” he picked up his phone, looking pleased at the time. “I got home arou-”

He was cut off by the panicked glance Jackson shot up to the top bunk as JB emerged from under the covers, no doubt awoken by his soprano shriek. JB looked disoriented, his hair sticking up in all directions and he frowned, his eyes narrowing. “What is it??” Mark gasped, jumping out of his bed. “Is that spider back, I knew you didn’t flus-JB?”

JB turned his head slowly to stare at the source of the offending noise, Mark, before slowly shrouding himself under the sheets and covering his face. “Why is JB in here?” Mark asked, and Jackson stood there with eyes wide as saucers. “Mh, well.” He began.

“I HEARD MARK SCREAM DID HE FIND THE EGG IN HIS SOCK!?” Bambam threw the door open, brandishing a camcorder, with a sleepy but excited Yugyeom in tow. “Egg in my sock? What egg in my sock? I thought we called a truce, JACKSON.” Mark crossed his arms, staring Jackson down and Jackson just stood there glancing from Mark to Bambam to the camera to Yugyeom to the top bunk. JB sat up again, bleary-eyed. “YAH!” He protested, never having been a morning person. Dragging his hood over his head he dived back under the covers. “What’s hyung doing here?” Bambam asked, as Mark started digging through the pile of laundry in the corner, sniffing around for this egg. “Didn’t he come in here last night?”

“I think he was drinking.” Yugyeom offered. “Hey…did hyung throw up?” His eyes lit up at the idea of his great leader taking a tumble like that.

“Uhhhhh.” Jackson had neither moved nor breathed for the last couple seconds.

“Breakfast? Oh, it’s a party.” Junior stuck his head through the bedroom door. “You guys are up early, eh? Hands up for breakfast.”

“Me!” Bambam and Yugyeom chimed in unison, and Mark agreed from his little pile of clothes. “AHA!” He announced, finding the offending egg sock and brandishing it at Jackson. “You’re gunna have to try better than that, noob!” He yelled the last bit in English, swinging the sock triumphantly.

“YAH!!!!!” JB screamed, sitting up, this time with a wide-eyed, wild expression.

“What’s JB doing here?” Junior asked quizzically, on his way out. The two youngest offered shrugs as they followed him, putting in breakfast orders.

“Wait, so what _is_ he doing here?” Mark asked, sitting on his bed, throwing the hardboiled egg sock towards Jackson. “Didn’t I ask you that like 10 minutes ago? Jackson close your mouth, why’re you just standing there??”

Jackson imagined he was in a field running with wild, talking animals, where no one asked him questions he didn’t know answer and his egg sock prank had gone successfully. He started rocking on his heels, humming slowly. “Mmmm…” he whispered.

Mark stared at him, only half-interested. “I can’t tell if you’re just sleep-deprived or you’re actually hiding something.”

Jackson glanced at Mark in terror. “No!? I mean. Yes, I didn’t sleep well, goodnight!” He made to try and climb the to the top bunk and Mark grabbed his ankles, dragging him back down. That boy was stronger than he looked. He gripped Jackson by his shoulders and swiveled him to face him. “Wait, can you explain why JB was sleeping in your bed when mine was totally free?” He stage whispered. “And why he slept in your bed when _his_ bed was totally free?”

Jackson stared at Mark, unblinking. “Mmmmm…” he whispered. The field he roamed in was never ending, and now there were unicorns.

“Why’re you so red??” Mark gripped Jackson by the nape of his neck, pulling him in close. “Jackson what. Did. You. Do?”

“I was just reading ok!” Jackson squeaked. “I was studying Japanese like a good student and I was going to go to bed and that was it!”

“And what happened instead??” Mark grinned, his eyebrows shooting up.

“MMMMM…I’m going for breakfast!” Jackson yelled, feeling even his ears red now. He had never been a good liar, and he had no idea what to say. Before Mark could say anything he slipped out of his grip and shot out of the room.

Mark sat on the edge of his bed, thoughtful. “Mh…” he said, before scrambling back against the wall after being greeted with JB’s face, void of emotion, hanging over the edge of the bed to stare at him. “Are you going to keep talking?” he whispered evenly and Mark shook his head quickly. “N-nope.” He said, sliding out of the corner of his bed and out of the room.

Jackson was hiding from further questioning in the bathroom and his phone buzzed. Pulling it out, he saw it was a message from Mark.

_‘I guess your lamenting all week about JB not liking you turned out well, huh?’_

Jackson stared at the text, totally unsure of what to reply.

‘ _I KNEW you liked him!’_

“Aish!” Jackson protested pushing his phone away on the bathroom counter-top, but not before he saw the last message.

_‘I didn’t think he liked you too though ;)’_

“AISH!” Jackson covered his face, sinking to the floor in total mortification. So much embarrassment, and it was only **9:35**. So much for a peaceful morning.


	3. Shh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Junior and Mark are way too observant for their own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told from JB's perspective! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and especially the comments!!!

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Jackson sang-song in English, clambering up to the top bunk where JB lay cocooned. “Sleepy…egg?” JB repeated in English, confused and disoriented. He had a throbbing headache from drinking and going to sleep without hydrating whatsoever, and he felt like kicking himself. “I don’t know that saying.”

Jackson grinned at him, shaking his hair out of his eyes and JB couldn’t help but half-smiling himself. Fuck was this boy endearing. “Here.” He said, holding an overfull mug of coffee out as JB slowly sat up. “I thought you might need this.”

“Wow, that’s thoughtful. “JB smiled, taking the cup carefully from him, before blowing and taking a sip. It was a total godsend. Jackson looked into him before glancing away and JB frowned. “What, what is it?” he asked, his heart sinking. He hadn’t had any time to think about last night or the consequences or what anything meant. He was a big over thinker, but with Jackson that tended to fade, mostly because Jackson was always helping with the group to make sure things ran smoothly, even though he didn’t always give off that vibe.

“It was Junior’s idea ok!” Jackson huffed, and JB winced at the pitch of his voice.

“Eh?” he asked in confusion.

“The coffee was Junior’s idea.” Jackson tugged at a loose thread of his blanket, pouting. “He knew you’d have a headache. Why does he have to be so considerate?! I would’ve thought of it eventually though!”

JB grinned. “Wow, you really couldn’t keep that a secret for any longer than that?” He took a big sip to make the coffee more manageable, before reaching over and shoving Jackson playfully in the shoulder. “You’re such a big goof.”

Jackson did his sneaky wide smile and JB felt compelled to reach over and kiss him, holding tightly unto the coffee cup between them. He was aware the bedroom door was slightly open but how many times had he fantasised about kissing Jackson in bed till his lips were red. Jackson hummed receptively, adding delicious pressure to the mix. “Mh.” He smiled pulling back.

“Brush your teeth.” Jackson teased, his eyes dancing.

“You like it.” JB mumbled, taking another big swig, feeling his brain finally begin to emerge from the darkness. “What time is it anyways?”

“Just after noon.” Jackson said, checking his watch. JB felt the youngers eyes on his lips and he scrunched his nose up in embarrassment. “Stop…” Jackson leaned over and kissed him again and he had to cover the coffee mug with his hand to keep it from scalding them both, resulting in it getting all over his fingers. It burned as it hit his palm but it was totally worth it because Jackson had him pressed against the wall and was kissing him so deeply he thought he might lose his mind.

“Wait.” He whispered, before downing the entire mugs content. Damn that was a lot of coffee.

“Wow.” Jackson said, taking the cup from him and peeking into it. “That’s pretty impressive.”

JB grabbed him by the nape of his neck and pulled him in again, pressing his tongue into Jackson’s mouth. There was that sweetness again, a honey coated tongue that he couldn’t get enough of. Jackson groaned, pushing his hand up against JB’s sweater and JB felt himself hardening. Shit, they hadn’t even started to talk about what they were and his dick was already trying to get into the picture. ‘Get down.’ He urged it. ‘You might scare him off.’

Jackson was sucking on his lower lip and it felt so good, and fuck this wasn’t helping. If they did end up _doing it_ who would top? Would he? Did he know how? Was he good at it? What if Jackson wanted to? Did he want to bottom? Maybe to Jackson. Who was bigger?? He hoped he was bigger, especially if he was topping. Also Jackson had an amazing ass. “JB.” Jackson whispered against his lips. “Turn your brain off for 5 seconds.” JB gripped Jackson’s strong arms and ravished him. He felt so strong and warm and the sounds he was making, fuck he was getting harder and harder.

Eventually, they pulled apart and Jackson grinned, bright eyed. “I could get used to that.” He said eagerly, nuzzling his face against JB’s shoulder and JB laughed. “Me too.” He smiled, staring into Jackson’s eyes. Wow, they’d really just been kissing, he really had just been kissing Jackson Wang, his group member for almost 2 years. He wanted to do it again and never stop.

“Oh and mh.” Jackson said, grabbing the coffee mug out of JB’s hand and jumping to the floor. “Mark might or might not know that we’re a thing ok bye!” He slipped out the door and JB blinked after him. He hadn’t even begun to think about the 5 other members of their nosey little family. He groaned, it slowly dawning on him that he’d left Jackson, who didn’t even know how to lie about a cup of coffee, alone with the rest of the house’s questions. This day was going to be interesting.

One hot shower, very fervent tooth brushing, some pain-killers and breakfast Junior had taken the time to save for him later, and JB was feeling nearly 100% again. It was a pretty light day for them, all that was scheduled was a fitting in the late afternoon and a V app session during that. JB was always awkward during that filming—he never knew what to say while they were live, so he usually just settled on smirking a lot. Luckily, Jackson saved him most of the time and he could settle on reacting to him instead. “Urgh, I’ve been on this diet for weeks but I’m still so much fatter than you!” he could hear Jackson griping from his room across the hall.

“Jackson you’re not fat, you have muscles.” Mark said, his voice more quiet.

“What’s this then??” Jackson griped, and JB could just imagine him lifting his shirt and pinching at bits of skin in search for fat, and suddenly he was jealous of Mark for getting to see Jackson’s stomach. “It’s time to go!” he yelled, exiting his room and making the rounds into the other boy’s bedrooms.  “Van is here.” He pushed his head into Jackson and Mark’s room—there most likely wasn’t any stomach touching going on, but just in case. Mark was pulling his socks on and Jackson bounced through the door past JB, his shoulder brushing the other boy’s. “Can I borrow these shoes?” he asked, pulling the pair from their massive stock pile.

“Jackson you have like 60 pairs of shoes, why do you need JB’s?” Junior asked, shaking his head as he pulled on his converse. “I like these…” Jackson whined and JB only nodded his ok, smiling.

“Did you throw up last night, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, half cheekily, half genuinely curious. “How much did you drink in the end huh?”

“Is that anyway to talk to your elder?” JB said seriously, masking his smile just so he could see Yugyeom’s face slip into the concerned canyon he fell into when he overstepped his boundaries.

“No…” he mumbled, and JB knocked his knuckles against the giant maknae’s shoulder to show him he was only kidding. “Is that why you slept in Jackson’s bed though? Were you too drunk?” Yugyeom asked again, suddenly brightening. “Ok, go outside you trouble maker.” JB said quickly, feeling his ears heat up. “You’re too comfortable for your good.”

As the boys shuffled outside he heard Bambam whisper “Oooh you got in trouble.” and Yugyeom whined and tried to run off to the van. Luckily Yugyeom was young enough that he could be distracted with a bit of scolding. It was Junior and Mark he’d have to worry about, especially Junior, who of all the boys probably knew him best and hadn’t said anything to him about last night whatsoever. As long as he wasn’t left alone with those two, he’d be ok.

 

“So.” Junior had his arm slung over JB’s shoulder, but he kept his eyes trained on Jackson, who was getting fitted for a jacket across the room. “You and Jackson made up then?”

“Mhm…” JB offered, keeping his arms crossed. “I got a little tipsy and went to his room to apologize and I guess I fell asleep.”

“Oh yeah?” JB could feel Junior’s eyes on him now, and he refused to meet them with his own. “Because that’s not what Jackson told me.”

JB stiffened and he knew Junior could feel it, but he worked hard to keep the same, emotionless expression in his face. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his best friend. He knew Junior wouldn’t care who he liked—even if it was Jackson. It was just that he had no idea what they were and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about it. Of all the things he could have possibly expected, Jackson actually liking him back hadn’t been one of them, so this was totally throwing him for a loop. And to add to that came the question of his sexuality, which he had always thought was straight.

But apparently not.

“Well, you know Jackson.” He finally said. What a weak comeback. But Jackson shirtless, arms spread at his sides was so distracting.

“What…what did he tell you?” He added, when Junior didn’t continue.

“He told me…” Junior said slowly, a smile spreading across his face. “You were pretty drunk.”

JB turned to stare at Junior. “Well. Yeah, I guess.” He finally said. This was seriously stressful, he had to talk to Jackson asap.

“Jackson looks good with his shirt off right?” Suddenly Mark was on JB’s other side, and this was his worst nightmare. “He keeps saying he has to lose weight but I think he has the best body of all of us. What do you think JB?”

JB shot Mark a look, fully aware of what he was doing. He racked his mind for what he would naturally say if he hadn’t had his tongue in Jackson’s mouth 4 hours ago, finally settling on his usual “Mh.”

“I mean, I’m so skinny in comparison...even you’re skinner than him. Have you guys ever just…taken your shirts off and compared bodies?” Now both boys were looking at him and JB squirmed. Why why why why.

“Whoever’s free, come film V app!” Youngjae called and JB had never been more grateful for him. He bolted away, his heart pounding. Ok, so nothing was a ‘secret’ amongst Got7, ever. There was no use trying. ‘I have to talk to Jackson before anyone else though.’ He decided. Which meant, it had to be soon, tonight. But how would Jackson get away from Mark without a whole bunch of questions? Where would they find to talk alone? Secrets were stressful, how did people ever manage to keep them. He’d figure something out later, for now, he was just grateful to have a few minutes of freedom.


	4. What Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson and JB dicuss what they are, and Jackson realizes there's a lot JB can teach him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told from Jackson's POV!  
> Thanks for your support!!!

 “I’m so sleepy.” Jackson complained, palming his bleary eyes. “Only the crickets are awake now!” He understood why JB had asked to meet at three am on the balcony, but it didn’t stop him from whining. After all he was Jackson Wang, and nothing if not someone who wore their heart on their sleeves—for the most part.

“That’s the point.” JB said evenly, pulling Jackson closer to him, probably in hopes that that would encourage him to speak more quietly. Jackson made a face. Speaking quietly was never his forte when he was in a good mood. “You’re not going to try to change me in this relationship are you Jaebum-ssi?” he furrowed his brow and leaned close to JB, pouting. “If you wanted someone quiet you should have confessed to Mark.” He was pleased to see JB get all flustered, which he could only really tell because he knew JB so well. To the untrained eye, his expression remained stoic, but Jackson could see the minute twitch of his brow that told him everything.

“I wanted to talk about that actually.” JB said, turning to look out over the tiny balcony. “Like. What are we? And are we telling the others about it?”

Jackson felt his heart leap in his chest, almost painfully, like when you have a hiccup that doesn’t fully escape. He’d been thinking over this all day to himself, over and over. He’d wondered if JB would even ask, and he was glad to see that he had because otherwise, he would have had to bring it up himself and he was no good at that. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to try at this with all his heart, guns-a-blazing, full force. He was a dedicated lover, often jealous, not that he’d ever had much of a serious relationship before. If he was going to be kissing JB, he wanted to be the only one kissing him, and he wanted other people to know he was kissing him, and he wanted other people to know he was the only one kissing him and he wanted to be the only one allowed to kiss him. Obviously, that couldn’t include the general population, he wasn’t stupid. But even the other boys that he considered family knowing would make him very happy. Sure they would tease the both of them relentlessly, and Yugyeom would have a million questions and Youngjae would get awkward, but he was almost looking forward to it. But what did his leader want? JB, who cared about everyone passionately and was always thinking deeply into everything and had the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. He didn’t want to answer something that would come across inconsiderate or put JB into a bad place, but he wanted to answer truthfully too.

JB was staring out over the balcony, biting the inside of his cheek, and Jackson could see his mind whirring. Jackson cared about things deeply too, he just liked to keep those thoughts on the inside, because sometimes it got too overwhelming. Sometimes he missed home so much he cried and Mark held his hand as he shook. Sometimes he felt he was no good at rapping, and no good at all. He admired JB more than he could express, having him confess was amazing to him in more ways than one. All these thoughts flited through his mind in a couple of seconds—he was a quick thinker, and he brightened.

“We’re boyfriends, obviously!” he said, although his heart was going so so fast in his chest, he had to look relaxed. “I like you, you like me, so we’re dating. And there’s no use hiding it from the guys so let’s not bother.”

 _Pumpumpumpum_ , his heart ran off without him, because JB could say _anything_ , and what he said could totally crush him. And even though he was grinning like a Cheshire cat, he’d just bared his soul.

JB could say _“I think we should keep things a secret.”_

He could say _“I don’t think we should get serious.”_ Jackson hoped to **God** he didn’t say that one, because he could already feel himself falling hard.

But worse of all, and the one Jackson really wouldn’t know what to do if he heard it, he could say _“I think we should stop.”_ And he could already feel his heart breaking. There were drawbacks to wearing your heart on your sleeve.

JB looked at him incredulously. “You know…” he said slowly, crossing his arms. “It’s amazing how simple you make everything.” He shook his head, before leaning in and kissing Jackson gently, who wriggled into his embrace like a puppy. “I like that idea.” JB whispered against his lips and Jackson screamed ‘Yes yes yes!’ in his mind and kissed JB all over his face and grinned his big grin. JB smiled and then they were kissing in _that way,_ the way where JB pressed his tongue into Jackson’s mouth and tasted him (Jackson had decided he really liked that) and held him firmly around his waist all possessively like rawr. This was the first time they were kissing without beer breath and Jackson decided he really, really liked how JB tasted, a little bit like mint and chocolate. Jackson hoped he was a good kisser, JB certainly seemed to have a lot more practice than he had. He’d kissed 3 girls in his life, and none of them like this, till they were all breathless and he felt inside his shorts getting all warm and tingly.

JB pushed a hand up the front of his t-shirt and he felt light-headed, like he wanted to do anything JB said. He felt a moan escape him (why did that keep happening?) and JB was kissing along his throat and neck now, nibbling and licking and biting at his collarbone, all the while holding him so securely Jackson felt they would totally win at trust fall. “JB…” he whispered, and was that his voice? It sounded so thick and kind of…hungry? But what was he hungry for??

Probably sex.

Jackson felt his face heat up. He wasn’t like, _innocent._ He’d gotten blowjobs before…a couple times, ok two times…He just hadn’t…well he hadn’t HAD sex. It wasn’t weird! His entire life had been centered around professionally competing, his parents had always been nearby, and he had moved from that straight to training and then debuting. He wasn’t complaining, he loved his life and there would always be time for that stuff… _sex stuff_ , later. Although every time he hung out with Henry he was stared at incredulously for his lack of experience, and even Mark judged him a little for it, but he hadn’t exactly had a normal childhood. While Mark had been _doing it_ with his girlfriend in high school, Jackson had been training for the Summer Youth Olympics. He hadn’t gotten First place from having sex all the time! Or any of the time! So, there!

Ok maybe he didn’t have that much experience.

And training under JYP by day and practicing Korean by night hadn’t left much time either. Plus he’d been awkward back then! Plus…well…if he was being completely honest with himself, none of the girls he’d interacted with had made him feel like this. He’d always just assumed the right girl would come along and then suddenly he’d be super interested, but it hadn’t really happened. JB made him feel like that though, JB who’s hand was now pushed up against his chest and was kissing along his jawline, all warm and soft. He groaned again, feeling that heat building along his lower abdomen, and JB bit his lower lip gently and he _really_ liked that. Suddenly he wanted to rub up all over JB and take his clothes off and this was getting frustrating!

“Jackson…” JB smiled, and his voice also sounded all low and thick. “Do you know what you’re doing to me?”

Jackson shook his head, unable to trust his voice. He knew his lips were probably really red and his eyes dilated and wide, because that’s how JB looked and it was really hot.

JB grabbed his hand and Jackson looked at him curiously, before JB moved his hand to rest against the front of his shorts, and _oh._ “Oh…” Jackson echoed, hesitating, before slowly cupping JB _there_ , and trying really hard not to blush. “You make me so fucking hard.” JB growled against Jackson's neck, his hot breath sending shivers up and down Jackson's spine, and Jackson thought he might explode. Wow. Wow. Wow. Ok. Why was JB so incredulously hot? He wanted to say ‘me too’ but he just. Couldn’t! How could JB say something like that with a straight face. He wasn’t sure what to do so he sort of rubbed around gently while they kissed and it seemed to be good because now JB was moaning in the back of his throat. Oh god, where was this going to go? Things were happening so fast, Jackson had no idea if he was prepared.

“Hey…” JB said suddenly, pulling back, and Jackson jerked his hand away guiltily like JB hadn’t been the one to put it there in the first place. “We gotta go to sleep, it’s been an hour.” He had his leader voice on. “And 6 hours of practice tomorrow.”

Jackson blinked before saluting sharply. “Aye Aye Captain!” he said cheekily, before JB shut him up with a kiss and a grin, slipping back into the house, mouthing a goodnight. Jackson blinked, his head still spinning, and now he was definitely hard.

“Urgh…” he groaned quietly, making his way back to his bedroom. He had to brush up on his skillsets before this happened again! And now, he had to jerk off to thoughts of JB!

‘Why is my life so difficult, boo.’ He grinned to himself. He was very happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which JB wishes he could comfort Jackson, and some kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From JB's POV.

 When JB woke up in the morning, he was so hard it almost hurt. He’d been dreaming about Jackson, all night, on loop. The good kind of dream, where Jackson was naked and under him, and this wasn’t an entirely uncommon dream of his, but now that he’d actually heard Jackson moan, and felt his lips and his arms and his body, his dreams were all the richer and more exciting. When would he even have time to fulfill these dreams, with their schedules? And how interested would Jackson even be in that? Although it made his heart pull, the way Jackson had just declared them boyfriends…it was incredible how bold and self-assured Jackson was, a talent he wished for himself.

 Quickly, he shook himself awake and took a cold shower, thinking through his usual de-hardening thoughts. Failing his team, failing his company, failing his family, messing up his solo, messing up in choreo, losing Jackson. And just like that he was good to go. Pulling on a pair of dark stretchy jeans and a grey t-shirt, he woke Youngjae up with a gentle shake and a smile, before making his rounds to the other boy’s rooms. He made sure everyone was fed, with the help of Junior, and kept things on schedule, breaking up a fight over the last chocolate energy bar between the two youngest, and helping Jackson pick out what cap to wear because he was mulling over it entirely too long.

“Van’s here, let’s go!” he called loudly, slipping his shoes on, and Junior was suddenly beside him with a banana and a granola bar. “Eat.” He said plainly, and JB grabbed them from his hands with a half smile.

“Umma.” He smirked, and Junior scrunched up his nose in that way that meant he didn’t have a comeback. In the van, JB gave the group the run down that their manager had sent them. “Don’t forget that we’re recording our practice video by the end of today, so everyone, do your best.” He announced, looking around at the rest of the boys.

“I think he’s talking about you.” Junior mumbled to Youngjae, who was known to have obvious facial reactions when he messed up choreo. “I think he’s talking about YOU.” Jackson called to Junior, with a straight face, and Mark, who sat between them, was curled into a ball, asleep.

“I’m talking to everyone, myself included. Everyone will work hard today, right?” JB attempted to get things back on track.

“YES!” The van echoed in off-beat unison, save for Mark, who slept on.

 

6 hours wasn’t awful, they’d definitely had longer practices, but for some reason, filming the practice video was taking ridiculously long. Ok, JB knew the reason why. But he didn’t want to say—Jackson kept messing up his part.

“Urgh. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, one more time.” Jackson hissed under his breath, crouching to the floor and covering his face. “I keep messing up.”

“Do you want to take a break?” JB asked, crouching by him, just far enough away. When Jackson got like this, closed-off and hard on himself, it was best to stop for a while.  Jackson was quiet, but the slight movement of his head meant ‘no’ and JB understood. “Hey.” He said softly, reaching out and gripping Jackson’s arms. “You’re going to get this. You got it all of rehearsal, you’re just putting too much pressure on yourself right now.” Jackson remained unmoved, and JB thumbed the material of his sweater back and forth in soothing swipes. “There’s no rush.”

There was, they had to be out in 20 minutes.

“Come, look up.”

Jackson did, and frustration shone in his eyes and reflected right off of JB. He fully understood what it felt like to hit that wall. He scooted a little closer, and by now, thankfully, the other members had sort of dispersed to practice their trouble spots in front of the mirrors. When it came down to it, the boys were pretty sensitive to each members needs. Sometimes Jackson needed space.

“Why are you worried?” JB asked, not stopping the gentle back and forth of his thumb. He was used to comforting his members, sure, and he was pretty good at taking care of them. Yugyeom usually was good with a solid hug and big, reassuring smile. Bambam rarely ever got upset, and he was a self-soother, a strong kid. Youngjae mostly needed tangible help, like someone offering to help lighten the load of whatever tasks he had. Mark usually needed sleep and time alone. Junior liked to talk things out, which, while talking wasn’t exactly JB’s forte, he was a pretty good listener. Jackson…Jackson’s emotions poured from him like water through a desperately leaky faucet, freely and passionately. The range was broad and deep, and sometimes JB felt he just wasn’t enough. It was something he hated that he struggled with.

When Jackson said nothing, for a while, JB stood, his brow furrowed, and Junior had moved to stand beside him. “Can I try?” he offered, and JB’s nod was slow and just a little begrudging. Within a minute, Jackson was up and ready to go, and 10 minutes later, they had their best take yet. ‘Kay.’ JB thought, trying hard not to dawn on it, but it pricked at him like little needles, annoying.

“Did anyone see me mess up that time?” Youngjae asked as the footage was being reviewed.

“You did a good job.” JB smiled, petting him on the back. Jackson was sitting expressionless on the bench, on and he so badly wanted to hug him. Simultaneously, he wanted to ask ‘Why didn’t you like Junior instead of me?’ and he couldn’t tell if that was jealously or genuine concern that wanted to know.

 

 

After dinner, everyone was exhausted, and JB was no exception, especially after the time he’d spent the night before with Jackson. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to just crash in bed, or try to find out if Jackson was in a better mood. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember what he usually did in cases like these…when Jackson was upset he usually…well it depended didn’t it?

Youngjae was singing to himself as he got into bed and JB lay on his, staring at the ceiling, a frown on his face. He wondered if he would make a good boyfriend to Jackson. Apart from being terribly attracted to him and wanting to keep a smile on his face, he wasn’t sure exactly what else he had to offer. As he mulled over his thoughts, occasionally pausing to harmonize with Youngjae, he drifted to sleep, eyes heavy.

When he woke up, it was dark in the room, but sounds could still be heard in the living room. He checked his watch and it was just after 11, meaning he’d napped for a couple hours. He rubbed his eyes, wondering why he had woken up, to see Jackson’s bright eyes peeking at him, his chin pressed up against the bunk.

“Youngjae went to shower.” Jackson whispered. “He said he was in a ballad mood so we have at least half an hour.”

“Mh, what did I tell him about those long showers?” JB said, although he couldn’t hide his grin.

“I gave him some suggestions so maybe he’ll take even longer.” Jackson said earnestly, and JB covered his teeth with his lips, still smiling. “I’m sorry about earlier.” Jackson said quickly, clambering into the bed at JB’s prompt. “I was just so tired and I felt like I was letting everyone down. Especially you.”

“Me?” JB echoed in surprise, blinking.

“Yes you!” Jackson stared at him incredulously. “Don’t you know…I always want to do my best for you.”

JB felt the tips of his ears go red. “Is that why Junior comforts you so easily?” he mumbled, trying to keep the bite out of his tone. So he was jealous, was it so bad to want Jackson entirely for himself?

Jackson was quiet, then he broke into a massive grin. “Are you jealous?” he giggled. “Of Junior?”

“No! No!” JB grabbed his pillow and smacked Jackson with it, while his mind screamed ‘Maybe yes yes.’

Jackson giggled for entirely too long, falling over and kicking his feet into the air dramatically. JB groaned, considering shoving him off the bunk bed. “He’s better at comforting you!” he said. “It’s…well I wish I could do that for you!”

Jackson sat up, suddenly serious. “Junior comforts you better too! He’s comforting! He’s the mom of the group!” He stared at JB, eyebrows raised. “You comfort me too…it’s just sometimes I don’t like to look up at you because disappointing you matters so much to me.”

“You couldn’t disappoint me.” JB winced at how cheesy he sounded. Urk, who was he. “Even if you tried.” Well, might as well go all the way if he was going to start. Jackson’s expression softened, but his eyebrows stayed elevated. “You work so hard. Jackson…seriously. You’re amazing.” JB shook his head, and then because he hadn’t in a while and wanted to, he leaned over to kiss Jackson, who was still lying on his back looking up at him.

“How amazing?” Jackson asked, wrapping his arms around JB, who moved slowly to hover over him, grinning. “So amazing.” He breathed against his boyfriend’s lips. It was ridiculous how quickly Jackson got him from 0 to 100.  Jackson reached up to return his kisses—he was so fucking cute, the way his fingers curled around JB’s neck when he held him, and the sounds he made, so genuine and eager.

“Why do you taste so good?” he asked in marvel, licking along Jackson’s lower lip, before biting down gently. “I can’t handle it.”

“I can’t handle it either…” Jackson sounded a little disoriented and it was a massive self-confidence boost. They kissed lazily for a while, tongues guiding back and forth, and Jackson’s fingers moved to his hair. He tried to keep his mind focused as electricity coursed through him, because he could feel himself getting hard again. Failure, disappointments, the sounds Jackson made and the way his hard body felt pressed up against JB’s and his deliciously erratic breathing and honey tongue. Fuck fuck fuck.

“JB…” Jackson whispered, breathing sharply through his nose, and his breath was all hitched and his low voice was even lower. “Jackson, you’re making my mind blank…you can’t keep doing this to me.” He groaned. It had been a grand total of two days and already being this close to Jackson was driving him insane. “What do you want me to do to you instead?” Jackson asked curiously in between kisses.

“Mh…I think the question should be what do I want to do to you…” JB sighed. He wasn’t usually this free with his words but…well. Jackson. He wanted to do, everything, all of the things, and even though he hadn’t really done most of those things with a guy before, he felt at least half-assured it would go well. Well, it was easy to feel assured when he was this hard.

“What do you want to do to me?” Jackson whispered, and JB’s breath caught in his throat. Fuck fuck fuck that was dirty fanfic level hot, watching Jackson’s lips part in the darkness to say those words.

“I want to…” JB felt slightly embarrassed, but he wanted to get the words out before he lost his nerve or started overthinking things. “I want to give you a blowjob.”

Jackson looked at him with unblinking eyes, his lips parted slightly. JB buried his face against Jackson’s shoulder, feeling his whole face on fire. “I mean—”

“I can’t wait.” Jackson whispered, kissing the side of JB’s cheek, before checking his watch. “I gotta go.” He said, shimmying from under JB. JB groaned although he knew Jackson was right, he’d heard the shower turn off too. He grabbed Jackson’s hand as he slipped out of the bed, kissing him once, twice, and then again, making frustrated noises the entire time. “Come baaaack.” He whined, grinning, and Jackson grabbed his hand and squeezed, kissing his fingertips, before scurrying out of the room. Not two minutes later, Youngjae came in, humming to himself.

“I hope you’re happy.” JB scowled, flopping face-down into the bed.

“Pretty happy.” Youngjae said cluelessly, toweling his hair. “You?”

JB grumbled against his pillow, before glancing to his phone as it buzzed. It was from Jackson, and it was a simple little heart emoticon but it got him freaking out all over again.

“Yeah.” He smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the endless fluff towards the end! Also I'm not entirely sure how the boys dorms are set up, so I have them all in bunk beds.


	6. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson learns a new skill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told from Jackson's POV

“ _You_ look freshly ravished.” Mark said dryly, his eyes trained on his phone. “Had fun in JB’s room?”

“Yes, yes I did.” Jackson retorted, sticking his chin out. So he had scurried to JB’s room the absolute second he’d heard Youngjae leave, but so what? He wasn’t going to feel ashamed. Mark looked up, his eyebrows raised curiously. “So what, are you guys like...dating now?” his voice, already quieter than most, dropped a couple decibels as he asked.  

“Mh…yeah, I think so.” Jackson shrugged, lying his head across Mark’s lap. “I mean…” A grin drifted across his face. “We definitely are.”

“Omg dude look at you.” Mark smirked, shaking his head as he poked at Jackson’s cheeks. “You’re giddy.”

“I’m giddy in like, ok??” Jackson exclaimed, sitting up and clutching his heart dramatically. “And we just kissed for the best 25 minutes of my life and actually I need to talk to you about that.” All the while he spoke he rose slowly from the bed, before collapsing suddenly as he spoke the last words.

“You need to talk to me about you making out with JB for 25 minutes?” Mark sounded nervous.

“Yes, no!” Jackson swiped idly at Mark, staring across the room at the wall. “No, I need to talk to you about like…sex stuff.”

Mark scratched at his nose, eyebrows still slightly raised. “With JB?”

“No with Santa yes with JB don’t make this awkward!” Jackson griped. “He…he said he wanted to give me a…well y’know, but I kind of want to…”

Mark had put his phone down and was listening attentively. “Well, I want to give him one first.” Jackson finished weakly. “I dunno…I think he’s more experienced than me and I think it would be kinda cool to surprise him with my amazing vacuuming skills.”

Mark groaned, but he was smiling. “You want me to teach you how to give a blow job? I mean…I can’t really help you there.”

“Oh.” Jackson said. He’d forgotten that knowing how to _get_ a blowjob was very much not the same thing as knowing how to give one. “I guess I could…google and fiddle around with a banana for a while?”

“Or you could ask Junior.”

“Or I could ask Ju-” Jackson paused, his face contorting into one of pure confusion, then shock, more confusion, less confusion, contemplation, and then finally acceptance. “Wait, Junior…knows how to…he’s…is he…”

“I think you should just talk to Junior.” Mark smiled, pulling his phone out again. “If you want someone to teach you how to get a bra off blindfolded, I got you.”

“Mh, JB’s probably not into that.” Jackson mused, his mind whirring. Was Junior gay? Bi? Did he just know a lot about blowjobs? Why did Mark know this and not him? ‘All this and more answered next time on Days of Our Livessss…’ he echoed in his mind, grinning to himself. Wait, but seriously about Junior though??? He guessed he would find out soon enough.

 

 

 

“JB and I are boyfriends and I want to give him a blowjob.” Jackson said plainly, and Junior nearly sputtered into his ramen. Grabbing at tissues, he wiped his face, before calmly returning to his meal.

“That was a lot of information.” He said mockingly, a small ‘I knew it’ smile crinkling in his eyes.

“Well Mark said you could teach me.” Jackson wriggled his brows, pleased when Junior’s cheeks tinged red. “Which begs, the question, why?” Ha, Junior loved to tease him and get him all flustered and in a corner, and now for once, he had something over him! He was going to bask in this feeling fore-

“Well, I’m really good at blowjobs. Had a lot of practice.” Junior said, slurping a chopstick-full of noodles up in confirmation. Jackson’s entire face lit on fire, and he tried hard to maintain eye contact but failed completely.

“How, when, where???” he squeaked quietly. Junior’s room was the place a lot of members went to confide, and today seemed as a good as any for that.

“With my ex-boyfriend of 3 years, and…well…everywhere.” Junior smirked, finishing his ramen and watching Jackson literally explode. “Three…you had a boyfriend for three years? AND I’M JUST FINDING OUT?” Jackson gasped, before pouting. “Why…”

“I dunno, it never came up.” Junior said teasingly, glancing at Jackson’s furrowed brow before conceding. “It’s a little hard to talk about your sexuality when you don’t know anyone else’s, especially when it’s assumed we’re all straight…I wanted to tell everyone from the beginning but I was too nervous back then, and by the time we all got closer life got so busy I wasn’t really thinking about it anymore?”

Jackson nodded solemnly. He got why that would be a frightening thing to do, it was really hard to be yourself and an idol at the same time. “And yes, I’m gay, if you’re wondering.” Junior said, putting his bowl down. “I told Mark a couple months ago because…” for once his calm expression faltered and faint hint of red in his cheeks grew. “Because I had the tiniest crush on him.”

Jackson nodded slowly. He loved to overreact but he was also sensitive to when people needed news to be taken calmly. “That’s ok.” He said, nudging Junior gently with his shoulder.

“I mean it was no big deal.” Junior said, before breaking into a grin. “You should be lucky I didn’t like JB.”

“YAH!” Jackson protested, shoving the other boy agitatedly. “Anyways are you gonna teach me or not??”

“Okaaaay.” Junior smirked. “Eager, are we?”

“WE better not be. Just **me**.” Jackson jabbed at his chest, furrowing his brow possessively.

“Easy tiger.” Junior soothed. “By the time I’m done with you JB won’t know anyone’s name but yours.”

“Cool” Jackson said, lowering his hand. He liked the idea of that.

 

It was one of those blissful free days again, and Jackson was excited. It had been two grueling weeks and he’d only gotten to kiss JB maybe 4 or 5 times. In two weeks. That was literally insane, anyone who had ever looked at JB while he danced knew that. He danced like the definition of sex but with his clothes on which made it even more impressive. And every time they’d kissed during those two weeks, Jackson had gotten more and more antsy to do more. Today couldn’t have come any more quickly.

“Youngjae, are you going out with your friends today?” he asked quickly over breakfast. JB was still asleep and he wanted to get things in place asap. “What time, when, how long for?”

“Mmmh, nah.” Youngjae said, focused on his egg. “We were gunna go to the movies but decided not to. I kinda feel like staying at home.” Youngjae’s sunny personality was sweet and infectious, but today Jackson wanted to hang him from a flag pole and raise him to the top. “No, you should go!” he exploded, grabbing an innocent Bambam as he walked past. “You should take Bambam and go see that new Marvel movie!”

“Captain America!?” Bambam exclaimed, looking to Youngjae. “Oh yeah let’s see it!!”

“Without me?” Yugyeom whined walking to stand beside Youngjae. “I want to go too.”

“Oh you should all go it’ll be so fun!” Jackson nodded reverently, pushing Bambam in a bewildered Youngjae’s direction. “But I don’t even like Marvel that much.” Youngjae said weakly, and it was all that was needed to send the two youngest into a yelling war, listing off every good point of Marvel and Captain America, all the while begging for Youngjae to go with them. Jackson scarfed down the rest of his breakfast, checking the time.

“I dunno…”Youngjae said, not entirely convinced. He was really good at sticking to his guns when it came to the Maknae line. Jackson bit his lip nervously. This was going to be really difficult if he couldn’t get the other guys out of the house! Screw it, if Youngjae wanted to stay in all day he was just going to have to listen to his awkward first attempt at giving JB a blowjob, so there.

Mark sighed quietly over his bowl of cereal, before speaking. “If we go early we can skip the line. It’s a nice day anyways, we can go to the park for a while too.”

Youngjae looked at Mark curiously. Mark’s idea of a good day was sleeping and eating and occasionally going on his phone for a while.

“OH, I got my new airplane to try!” Bambam said, shaking Youngjae’s shoulders. “Come, come come Youngjae, you’ll like it!”

“Ok…” Youngjae said finally. “Since you guys all want to spend so much time with me.” His smile was a little confused but happy and Jackson beamed. ‘Look at me, bringing the group together through kindness and graciousness, and getting the house empty for my intensely sexy skills, all before noon.’

Under the table, he could feel an agitated little kick from Mark but that did nothing to stop his joy. It was going to be great. 

 

 

But also terrifyingly nerve-wrecking because what if he messed up? He wouldn’t mess up right? Junior had taught him a lot and he’d been practicing and he was ready to at least give it a good shot. He wanted to make JB feel the way JB made him feel just by looking at him, he wanted to show he would be a valuable asset (no pun, ok fine, some pun, intended). As long as he didn’t bite anything off, it would be ok, is what Junior had said, and he thought he could at least do that much. But what if he didn’t like it?

JB walked in then, all sleepy and grunting, as he was before his coffee. On his way to the fridge he brushed Jackson’s waist with his fingers in that possessive, sexy way, and Jackson felt shivers spring along his side. He grinned into his empty plate, before turning and pouncing on JB, greeting him cheerily as JB swatted at him.

He definitely was going to like it.


	7. Blow me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson blows JB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told from JB's POV. There's dirty stuff, I apologize. XD

 Jackson was cute when he did everything, but especially when he was all excited as he was now. JB had decided that since they hadn’t been on a real date yet, and Jackson had so graciously gotten everyone out of the house, even if it meant giving up on watching a marvel movie, so he was going to try his best to make the day memorable. He’d asked Jackson just what he’d wanted to do and the answer had been simple-- ice cream and movies. Internally, JB had groaned because Jackson especially liked watching English-language movies, which he understood maybe 5% of, but he had agreed because…well, Jackson.

So now they were on the couch watching the Minion’s Movie, and at least those little guys were entertaining to look at, despite JB not being able to understand anything they said, although Jackson said that really, no one understood anything they said. Jackson was wedged against his shoulder almost as if he was trying to burrow himself there, and the way his neat little brows furrowed in enjoyment or anxiety was so endearing to look at. “Why do you always like to hide down there?” JB asked against the top of Jackson’s head, kissing it. He especially liked his hair like this, all flowing round his head like a soft little pillow, unstyled. He smelled like raspberries.

“I like how you smell.” Jackson mumbled into JB’s armpit, peeking up at him slyly, and JB marvelled at him. How was it that he could gaze at Jackson endlessly and never tire, wanting only to keep drinking him in, always hungry. The way his nose curved at the bridge, endearingly, his bright, intelligent eyes, sometimes accusing with their piercing stare, often falsely irate, always passionate. His firm mouth, pink, his lips curved down in that permanent pout that somehow never looked displeased. A pleasing pout. Even the shape of his head was striking.

JB liked to imagine them under the stars as he fell asleep at nights, sitting together and staring into the milky blue-black, untethered by life’s problems. “I like you.” He replied quietly, fully content to sit here so close to Jackson. He was trying understand what the little yellow guys were saying, so it took him a while to realize that Jackson was staring at him intently. “Hm?”

“Why?” Jackson asked. “Why do you like me?”

JB smiled with a closed mouth. “Way too many reasons.” He said gently. Why did he like Jackson?? Why did he like breathing?? Why did he like feeling alive, how could he not like someone who, with only a smile could brighten his whole life, who’s attentive eyes made his heart swell with a giddy, uncontrollable joy, who drove him to work harder than ever just to earn that look of awe Jackson was so good at. “You’re pretty cool.” He finally offered weakly. JB had never been good with words.

Jackson sat up to kiss him, and JB smiled into it. Every time Jackson initiated a kiss, he leaned in with his whole upper body, and his butt sticking out like a puppy. It was so cute. JB captured his lips gratefully, but didn’t reach out to pull Jackson closer, assuming he wanted to keep watching the movie. The only moves Jackson ever initiated were cute, quick little kisses that didn’t last long, while for him, every kiss would eventually lead to an orgy if not stopped. He was beginning to realize Jackson was little more innocent than he let on, and that made him so endearing. ‘ _Wild and Sexy_ ’ Jackson, yeah right. As he thought through this, he realized that the kiss hadn’t stopped, if anything, it was getting more intense, and he wasn’t the one doing it.

“Mh…Jackson…” he moaned in half-surprise. Jackson smiled against his lips but didn’t stop and _that_ was new. His fingers twitched at his side, he wanted to toss Jackson down against the couch so badly but he was also getting curious as to where this was going. Jackson’s tongue in his mouth tasted like all of his best memories at once, and then suddenly it was gone. JB wanted to protest but there it was again, against his neck, with a little bit of teeth and then Jackson was in his lap, delicious pressure right against where he wanted it. Damn he did have an amazing ass. Jackson’s hands held JB’s waist steady, his blunt nails pressing urgently against his skin and everything about it felt so good. “You can touch me, you know.” Jackson teased, but the thickness of his voice gave away just how aroused he was.

“Do you want me to?” JB whispered against the top of that raspberry blond head, before breathing in sharply as Jackson nipped his response against his jawline. JB brought his hands up, almost frightened of what they’d do on their own. Jackson taking control was so devastatingly hot he worried that anything he did would involve accidentally taking off all of Jackson’s clothes and also having sex with him immediately.

Jackson didn’t say anything, but JB could swear his hips were moving just a little bit, just enough to get his already growing erection that he was trying so desperately to fight, harder. Jackson’s fingers were now sliding under his shirt, against his stomach, warm and inviting as he kissed along JB’s throat, which before now, he hadn’t realized was such an erogenous zone. Just when he thought he might completely lose his mind from lack of blood flow, Jackson stopped suddenly, and looked up at him. “Is it good?” he asked, and JB nodded blindly, his whole body covered in goosebumps.

“Yeah, I can tell.” Jackson said, his eyes flitting to the bulge growing in JB’s shorts. He seemed to be contemplating, and JB focused on counting backwards from 10, breathing in and out deeply.

’10…’

Jackson suddenly smiled self-assuredly, before sliding out of JB’s lap and between his legs.

What came after 10.

JB couldn’t think of anything, anything more beautiful than the sight of Jackson on his knees between his legs. That sounded awful, but his mind was currently located right at the base of his dick and it wanted _to be nurtured._ He wanted to say ‘you don’t have to, we can take our time, are you sure, are you comfortable?’ but instead he just watched with wide-eyed fascination as Jackson pulled his shorts back right there in the living room. It was as if time was frozen in this blissful moment in which Jackson was smiling up at him with _his dick in his hand_ and he thanked every god in existence for this day.

“Are you s-sure?” He got out weakly, finally, although he was so hard by now that if Jackson decided to say no, it might be a medical emergency. Jackson nodded quickly, thought he seemed to be thinking. “Close your eyes.” He said, and JB quickly complied. “Jump off a cliff” and “Give me your first born” were other requests he would have complied with while Jackson was touching him like this. For 10 seconds he waited, and nothing happened. “Mh Jackson…it’s ok if—“ JB gasped, gripping the couch blindly as Jackson took what felt like his entire fucking dick into his mouth. It felt so good it was ridiculous. Everyone knew Jackson had a big mouth but he didn’t know something like that could translate.

“Fuck!” He hissed, panting as Jackson licked from base to tip before focusing on the head, which, honestly, was basically all that mattered. “Jackson,” he whispered, leaning forward and reaching out to rest his hand on his boyfriend’s head as he _quite literally_ had his mind blown. He’d had his fair share of blowjobs and all of them were absolute shit in comparison to this one. Jackson seemed almost genuinely hungry with how rhythmically and deeply he took JB in, apart from a couple swipes of too much teeth, which were quickly corrected. JB felt his lower abdomen starting that familiar tightening, tingling feeling and he tried hard not to grip Jackson’s hair. It felt so, so good. Was this what heaven was like? It couldn’t have been more than 3 minutes (although if anyone asked he would swear it was 20) three blissful minutes, and then he gasped “Jackson, stop, I’m cumming.” But Jackson didn’t stop, and JB looked down at him and Jackson grinned at him, licking slowly round the tip like a debauched vixen before taking him all in again and it was so warm and amazing. JB gripped at the couch, releasing with a shuddering breath, his toes curling against the floor and he exhaled, his stomach so tight and he felt bad because Jackson clearly was surprised by the taste and he made a face, before resolutely swallowing, coughing. JB was on cloud nine but he stroked back Jackson’s hair in utter appreciation. “That was…” he didn’t have the words, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. Ok, Jackson could have his ‘Wild and Sexy’ title back. Jackson stood proudly, leaning over to kiss him and he tasted himself and was embarrassed and aroused and proud all at the same time. He pulled him close by his arms and kissed him back breathlessly, his heart rate still going a mile a minute.

“You’re amazing.” He gasped, as Jackson sat by him again like nothing had happened, beaming at the tv.

“Is it safe to come out yet?” Junior said dryly, passing behind the couch on the way to the kitchen. JB’s entire face flooded with heat. He turned to Jackson with wide eyes, and Jackson smiled in shame. “I forgot to mention Junior was still here?” He said weakly. “But it’s ok right??”

“Oh my god.” JB groaned covering his face, and Junior walked back from the kitchen holding a mug, stopping briefly. “Oh…Jackson…” he feign gasped, mimicking JB’s heavy breathing before breaking into laughter. “I guess he did a great job. You’re welcome!”

JB buried his face into the pillows in pure embarrassment, before sitting up. “Wait, WHAT? What does he mean, ‘you’re welcome’? Jackson???”

“Mmmm…how bout I give you another blowjob and we forget about it?” Jackson mused, his eyes flitting around the room.

“Jackson!”

“Yup, that was you 5 minutes ago.” Junior quipped, before booking it for his room as JB threw a pillow in his direction.

Why was his entire life so embarrassing??

 

…But maybe he’d take Jackson up on that offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are great but nothing can beat a comment! I really look forward/enjoy reading them so so so so much, so please leave me some love~


	8. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson is accidentally outed by...JB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's POV  
> Comments much appreciated!

“So how was it…” Mark asked tentatively from his and Jackson’s shared desk, briefly lowering his comic book. “Please tell me it was worth sitting through a three-hour movie with the maknae line.”

Jackson was trying hard not to grin, but it was like attempting to stop up an overflowing bottle of pop. “It was really good. I was _amazing_.” He preened at his hair cockily, before shooting a smug look towards Mark. “It didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would—”

“Why did I ask…” Mark groaned.

“It kinda tasted ok the second time.” Jackson smirked, crossing his arms. “I never understood how people could like…giving them…but it kinda turned me on?”

“Why, why, I could’ve said nothing, and remained free of this information.” Mark lifted his comic book as a shield, still clearly listening.

“By the third time it actually tasted kinda nice…his… _thing_ , and the thing that came out of it.” Jackson blushed, pressing on because if he didn’t share this now, with Mark, what would he do, write it in a diary or something? That wouldn’t be very Jackson-like. He needed to embarrass everyone in the room even if it included himself.

“You did it **three** times?” Mark said, with a mixture of pride and embarrassment. “We got back at 4!”

“Well, I dunno! What’s standard???” Jackson tossed his hands into the air. “He looked so happy about it every time, I wanted to do it again!”

“No wonder he likes you so much!” Mark’s eyebrows shot into the air. “Lately he looks at you like you’re a god.”

“I **am** a god.” Jackson defended, shrugging, though a grin still crept across his face. “…You think so?”

“Jackson...trust me, you have him wrapped around your finger.” Mark said, returning to his comic book. “Just like you had your tongue wrapped around his—”

“YAH!” Jackson protested, although he was pretty damned happy. He had been worried that he wouldn’t like giving blowjobs, like what was there to like?? Putting a pee-stick in his mouth seemed like a pretty awful idea. But something about it being JB’s made it…not only easy but…kinda hot. The way JB carded his fingers through Jackson’s hair so gently, then not so gently, even the way he pulled just a little bit was hot. But the absolute best part was the sounds he made, the way his hips jerked up entirely on their own and his eyes screwed shut all hungry and desperate. It was like real life porn, JB style.

 

“Mh…I’m gunna go find JB.” Jackson said quickly.

“Grosssss.” Mark whined, smiling into his book. He wouldn’t admit it but Jackson like this was pretty adorable.

 

 

 

 

 

Over the next week, the boy’s schedules didn’t ease up at all. Every day was either intense practice as they got closer and closer to their comeback date, variety show segments, sometimes multiple in a day, photoshoots, interviews or radio recordings, with V app recordings peppered in throughout the day. Their days lasted anywhere from 12-16 hours—which was ridiculous all on it’s own—but on top of that Jackson had other commitment’s to adhere to.

Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom finally realized they were dating when he got home Thursday morning after having to sleep in a hotel for the night after doing an extended interview with a Hong Kong Radio Station, which meant he hadn’t spoken properly to the boys in two days. He stepped into the house at around 9 am, mumbling a sleepy greeting to see JB yelling at no one in particular about “WHERE’S THE BREAD WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY BREAD WHERE’S MY COFFEE?”

Yugyeom was quivering by the fridge, trying to find anything to placate JB’s temper (in his hands were a jar of peanut butter and a can of pickled sardines) Youngjae was humming to himself like a war-torn victim, and Bambam was literally under the counter, occasionally offering weak retorts to JB. If 90 pound Bambam was the strongest offense against JB at any point, that meant the worst kind of trouble. Shaking sleep out of his eyes, Jackson moved towards the kitchen.

“WHO FINISHED THE CEREAL. WAS IT YOU?” Fire shone in JB’s eyes as he swivelled round to the other boys, his sharp jaw clenched, a morning-time dragon. “N-n-no.” Yugyeom mumbled, failing to hide behind the tiny can of sardines, his eyes lighting up in pure relief as he spotted Jackson. “HYUNG!” he groaned, collapsing to the ground, and JB turned, his brow all angry and knotted and furrowed, melting quite suddenly when he saw Jackson. He dropped the kitchen scissors he had been clutching, his chest heaving and puffing like it did when he got mad and Jackson could’ve sworn he was pouting, like a kid who had been caught throwing a tantrum, and finally, his mom had come home.

“HYUNG!” Bambam scrambled from under the table, rushing to hug Jackson, but he was clocked by JB, who moved so swiftly it sent Bambam comically flying across the room.

He grabbed Jackson by the waist and gripped his chin, staring at him.

“Why are you aggravating the kids?” Jackson asked gently, trying hard to stay serious but…JB was so adorable in his t-shirt and Bart Simpson boxers, with his angry eyebrows on. 

“I missed you so much.” JB sounded accusatory, his cheeks still all puffed up.

“I was gone for the **night!** ” Jackson said, rubbing his boyfriend’s arm, smiling. “I saw you yesterday!”

JB growled, his face set the same way as if to say 'And?' and his eyes flitted to Jackson’s lips.

“And that made you feel like yelling at Yugyeom’s can of sardine? What did we say about your temper? Why are you traumatizing them! And further-” Jackson was cut off quite suddenly by the feeling of JB’s lips against his and he tilted his chin up just a little to return it to the taller boy, not thinking that they were doing this in the kitchen, just how fantastic it felt to be kissing him. He melted into it, feeling JB’s entire body lose its tension, humming happily to be close to him again.

For a while there was silence, and then he was suddenly very aware that the other three had crowded to one side of the room and were watching them intently, heads cocked slightly to the side. He reached up to cup JB’s cheek, feeling fingers press against his chest briefly before they pulled apart. JB paid no mind to the others, perfectly content to have gotten his kiss. He smiled gently at Jackson, before grabbing his coffee mug and stalking back to his room, clearing the sea of the other boys as if they were bowling pins.

Jackson breathed in, chancing a glance at the other three. Youngjae seemed to be in thought, his eyes up on the ceiling as he made calculations in his mind, nodding slowly to himself as connections came together in his mind, Bambam looked mostly confused but also pretty supportive, and Jackson was happy for that, but Yugyeom, well--

“Leader just kissed you.” He said suddenly, and Bambam shoved him in the shoulder like ‘duh, you dolt.’

“Uh yeah…” Jackson said, clearing his throat. “We’re dating; didn’t you know?!” He was so nervous but he wasn’t anything if not a good faker. He walked slowly towards the kitchen, before sitting down.

“NO!” Yugyeom yelled, before thinking for a moment. “Wait yeah…no!”

“When since?” Youngjae blinked.

“Since…like…uh….3 weeks ago?” Jackson said, unzipping his jacket.

“I didn’t know guys could date.” Yugyeom said quietly, finding this concept very difficult to grasp. "Except one time in that anime..." 

“Dude.” Bambam chided, before clearing his throat. “Congrats man, I’m happy for you! That explains why he was so crazy grumpy while you were gone.” He smiled warmly. 

“Thanks.” Jackson was extra appreciative of Bambam right then.

“Is this why you guys always stopped talking when I came back from the shower!” Youngjae suddenly exclaimed. “I just thought you didn’t want to talk to me! I feel a lot better now…”

Jackson grinned, relief washing over him. “I’ll make him apologize for his grumpiness.” He promised, heading towards JB’s room, his heart pounding in his chest. How nerve-wrecking was that! And how could JB leave him alone to admit everything by himself!

“So…JB likes Jackson…like a boyfriend?” he could hear Yugyeom whisper to Bambam. “But he’s so manly…they're both so manly!"

“Shh.” Bambam groaned.

" _Who's the girl._ " Yugyeom said in an even lower tone, and Bambam face palmed. 

“I’ll explain ok? Welcome to the wonderful world of same-sex relationships." 

 

 

 

“So you’ve been wreaking havoc on everyone for no reason?” Jackson asked seriously, entering JB’s room where he sat shrouded under his blankets. “What did he we say about that?”

“Not to do that.” JB said into his mug. “I just got into such a bad mood while you were gone, I dunno why.”

“Hmmmm…”Jackson buried his head against JB’s chest, feeling his arms wrap around him like a blanket. “Maybe because you missed me?” He grinned, looking up at JB and wriggling his brows.

“Why would I miss a brat like you eh?” JB retorted, one eyebrow shooting up in a challenge.

“Really? You dunno why you’d miss a brat like me?” Jackson said, glancing down at JB’s Bart boxers, before looking back up at him. “Thanks for leaving me to tell everyone we’re dating by the way.”

“They figured it out??” JB in mock surprise, hugging Jackson just a little closer. “I’m sorry…seeing you walk in in my varsity jacket just…did things to me.”

Jackson hummed against JB’s chest, happy. “You’re so little, every time you wear my clothes it’s cute.”

Jackson sat up to stare at JB blankly, his face completely void of emotion, lips set in a straight line. “Did you just call me little.” He said in a monotone, piercing JB right through with his eyes.

“No.” JB said quickly. “No.”

“Did you just call me little.”

“No.”

“Did you. _Just call me little_.”

“Nope.” JB was returning his blank stare now and Jackson smiled.

 “Ok! Wanna make out?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” JB grinned, leaning in for a kiss.

“No.” Jackson said, his stone face returning. Jackson Wang was nothing if not an absolute savage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous JB in the next chapter!


	9. Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys stay in bed and JB falls deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JB's POV!

                “Morning…” Jackson whispered, his voice cracking sleepily, as he rolled closer to JB’s side. Although Jackson really, _really_ did not like to hear it (JB definitely had to keep that in mind) him being so small and adept at both cuddling and fitting into small spaces made squeezing into the top bunk with him almost pleasurable. Jackson had a couple sleeping positions he loved—hiding under JB’s arm like a leopard cub, holding his hand like a stuffed animal. He also liked sleeping with his ear pressed right against JB’s heart beat, which made it a little hard to breathe but honestly, the idea of saying no to Jackson was one JB didn’t even like to think about. He loved to say yes to Jackson, he loved the way saying yes made his eyes light up, he loved pretending he was going to say no, and then saying yes and Jackson would try to act like he wouldn’t have minded if he’d heard no (but being very excited that JB had said yes).

And now that they were officially dating and the entire group knew, JB didn’t bother trying to hide his favouritism for his boyfriend. It was becoming a running joke, him caving to Jackson’s will—and the other members loved teasing him about it. But how could he not cave, when Jackson said, ‘Morning’ like that, and his hair was all tousled and he looked sleepy and warm. “Morning.” He replied, pulling Jackson up against his side and kissing the top of his blond raspberry head.

Jackson slept in his room about half the time now, mostly because he always said he was going to leave and ended up falling asleep, and also because Youngjae was a lot more comfortable sharing the room with them than Mark was, not that Mark was _un_ comfortable per say, so much as Youngjae was surprisingly… _un_ uncomfortable. So much so that, a couple nights ago when the two of them thought Youngjae was totally asleep and Jackson had gotten a little too handsy resulting in…well…what JB was starting to refer to as ‘cloud 9’, Youngjae had said nothing at all till they were done, before asking if either of them wanted water before he was going to get some for himself anyways.

So Youngjae.

Jackson, being the sensitive thing he was, had made sure Youngjae was absolutely ok with him sleeping in his room, and Youngjae had offered to switch rooms if it made things easier for everyone but Jackson had declined. He liked rooming with Mark and besides, he’d added, JB would probably miss Youngjae if he moved. To be honest JB would much rather have Jackson in his arms forever than listen to Youngjae sing, but the happy grin that had spread across Youngjae’s face told JB why Jackson had said that, and why Jackson was far more caring than he let on.

“Mm…morning.” Jackson repeated, pushing his leg gently between JB’s moving to press his lips against his neck, causing JB’s breath to hitch. “You’ve become a real fiend in what...two weeks?” he asked, his tone more appreciative than anything. “Well, I have to keep up with you right?” Jackson said, his bare thigh rubbing back and forth against JB’s morning erection.

“Urgh…I just mean…you used to be so innocent.” JB said teasingly, watching Jackson’s eyes light up with protest.

“Nu uh!” he said, although he’d already admitted to JB that _that_ blowjob had been his first, and all the rest had been his…second through…thirteenth. “I am a sex GOD, pleasing my many children with my gifts.”

“You should rethink that statement.” JB laughed softly, sliding his hands down Jackson’s soft, bare back, against his boxer shorts. “Isn’t it a little hard to be a sex god when you haven’t actually had sex?”

“Well.” Jackson said, ready with his comeback. “You can change that any. Time. You. Want.” Each word was punctured with a kiss along JB’s jaw, before the last landed against his lips.

“Be careful what you offer.” JB growled, pawing at Jackson’s bum, and Jackson hummed happily. Jackson was a lot of talk, but it took a lot to decipher how much was bravado, and how much was actually true. Jackson was a strange one. He had learned to give the most ethereal blowjobs (from fucking Junior of all people), and he seemed to really love giving them, but he was somehow still too shy to receive one, despite the many times JB had offered. He seemed to love to do things to satisfy JB, but he didn’t really seem to think much about anything sexual apart from that. JB longed to have Jackson totally fall apart in his hands, into a melted, horny, mess—but if he was too shy to even receive a blowjob then he was definitely not ready for full on sex. He’d come a long way, but he was still far more innocent than he let on.

“You want one?” Jackson asked, his eyes flitting across the blanket that covered them as if it were invisible and he could see right to the object in question.

“Do _you_ want one?” JB retorted, grinning cheekily, watching Jackson flush, flustered.

“I’m not the one with the raging hard-on!” Jackson squeaked shrilly, pursing his lips into a hard line in that way that made him look like a cute little know-it-all. “Fine...yes.” JB groaned, only because he couldn’t hold out any more with the way Jackson’s leg rubbed back and forth across his crotch.

“Yes what?” Jackson blinked cluelessly, before breaking into a little close-mouthed grin.

“Yes…” JB sighed, leaning down and letting his breath ghost over the other boy’s ear. “I want you to blow me till I cum in your mouth.” He pulled back, watching with satisfaction as Jackson’s eyes widened.

“Hyung…” Jackson whined. “Don’t do that to me.” He groaned, sitting up suddenly, checking the lower bunk to check if Youngjae was there (which they really, really should have done before) and sighing in relief to see it was clear. “We need to start making sure Youngjae isn’t in here before we talk about your dick.” He mumbled, rubbing JB gently through is boxers. “He’s chill but…I mean, hopefully not that chill.”

“Please don’t talk about Youngjae when your hand’s on my dick.” JB breathed.

“Kay…” Jackson complied, and JB sat up, watching him.

 The way that Jackson looked at him was enough to arouse him, and it was kind of amazing how in 5 seconds he could snap from an innocent, shrieking thing to…well…him right now.

 JB groaned as Jackson worked him, his increasingly skilled tongue driving him insane as he started slowly, lazily running his tongue and lips all along JB’s length, almost painfully slowly, till he slowly began building speed and pressure. JB loved the way Jackson’s hot breath felt against his dick, how it made him twitch in response.

He loved when Jackson smiled as he sucked, which he did when he moaned a little too loudly. He especially loved those debauched slurping sounds he knew Jackson played up for him, although Jackson was definitely a sloppy sucker, which again, he loved. There was pretty much nothing better than an eager wet mouth sucking you off in the morning, and the fact that it was Jackson was enough to drive him over the edge if he spent too much time thinking about it.

“Jackson…you’re so good…fuck.” He moaned, arching his back as his hips bucked into Jackson’s mouth on their own accord. “I feel like I’m losing my mind.” Jackson kissed the tip, and JB looked down just in time to watch Jackson’s tongue lapping at his precum, and it was mesmerizing the way it trailed from his tongue, his lips slick and wet and so fucking red, **fuck**. He watched Jackson take him all in again, right down to the base (he was getting way too good at that) carefully bobbing his head rhythmically, on and on, and JB was trying so hard to last because it hadn’t been long at all, but he felt that familiar tingle building in his lower abdomen and Jackson’s fingers were pressed right against the lower part of his stomach, feeling it tighten.

“Jackson…Jackson…” he gasped, bucking his hips frantically now.

Gasps and words and mangled sentences started slipping from his lips as he totally lost it, loosely fisting Jackson’s hair (which, thank god, Jackson loved because he sure as hell loved doing it) and in that moment all he could think was how good it would feel to cum inside Jackson one day and he couldn’t wait and that was it, the thought alone sent him right over the edge and he came, hard, so hard he could tell even Jackson was surprised, and his breath was so shaky he thought he might never catch it.

“F-fuck…” he groaned, bleary-eyed, pulling Jackson up and kissing him hungrily, holding him close. It was that sloppy, horny kind of kiss where he paid absolutely no attention to control or technique, he just wanted to taste Jackson till he was sick of him, which would absolutely never happen. Jackson moaned as JB flipped them, not stopping to let Jackson catch his breath and he felt selfish but what do you do when someone arouses you so much you can’t stop shaking.

“I want to be with you so bad.” He whispered in between kisses, and he was already hard again, _fuck_ his sex drive. But thank god, at least Jackson was too. “I want to be with you too.” Jackson said breathily—it was always really easy to tell when he was turned-on because his voice dropped an octave. JB’s shorts rubbed against Jackson’s erection and he kissed him until Jackson looked a total panting mess and only then he felt satisfied because _there_ , Jackson was _all his_ and he loved when he looked like this, like a tousled, almost bewildered, well…sex god.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” JB said finally, as if he’d just come to a frightening revelation.

“Cheesy…” Jackson mumbled, but he looked so absolutely pleased, his eyes shining like stars in the milky black sky.

“You’re mine, ok?” JB declared astutely. “No one else’s.”

Jackson nodded (that’s another way you could tell he was turned-on, when he didn’t have a pithy comeback) and he pulled JB close to him like a little koala. “I must’ve done a really good job that time.” he smiled, and JB was so happy he thought he might burst. What had his life been before Jackson???

“Should we eat breakfast?” he asked, but Jackson didn’t respond, already half asleep underneath him. He moved gingerly to let Jackson sleep on his side, the younger boy tightening his grip on him. It wasn’t really comfortable to sleep like this either, while he was slowly being choked.

 So he couldn’t say no to Jackson.

But could anyone really blame him, he was just so heart-poundingly cute.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised jealous JB but this chapter sort of got away from me, haha. I don't think anyone's complaining though. ;0 I retried my hand at smut (from JB's POV) and I think it turned out well. 
> 
> JEALOUS JB next chapter though, promise! 
> 
> I'm so glad people like this story and the guys. Thanks for reviewing, they keep me updating quickly.


	10. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which JB get's jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's POV.

It had been a really long day of fan meets and signing and the boys were exhausted. But not too excited to give up a chance to play a game of truth or dare—Jackson’s idea of course. And now they sat in the living room—Bambam was in a skirt, Yuggeom was drunk off just half a beer, and Youngjae had already passed out and was curled up on the couch.

“I dare you…” Mark drawled, taking a slow swig of his beer, before rezoning in on Jackson. “I dare you to...OOOOhhhh, I dare you to put your hand in the toilet!”

“You dared that already!” Jackson whined, shaking his head at Mark. “Literally just a while ago.”

“OK.” Mark pouted. “I dare you to drink pickle juice! No….urgh…these are lame, I dunno.” He looked desolately into his nearly empty 5th beer, wondering where it had gone.

“I’m skipping you.” Jackson said, grabbing the beer from Mark, cutting him off. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth!” Mark exclaimed excitedly, his eyes shooting open.

“Ok….who…are you most attracted to here?” Jackson grinned, wriggling his brows excitedly.

“Uhm…”Mark said, his eyes flitting around the room, before breaking into a fit of giggles. “Pass…”

“No passes!” Junior barked, sitting on the edge of his seat and nursing the one lukewarm beer he’d been holding all night. “Y-you gotta answer.”

JB and Jackson exchanged knowing glances, Jackson scooting back closer against JB in his lap.

“Ok fine. You!” Mark said, flinging his finger in Junior’s direction, his lips parting in a drunk smile. “I think, Junior is cute…”

Junior glanced down at his beer can, fidgeting in his seat, a grin spreading across his face as slowly as his blush.

“THAT WASN’T THE QUESTION!” Jackson exclaimed, sitting up excitedly, only to be dragged back down by JB. “The question was, _attracted_ to.”

“Still Junior...” Mark nodded solemnly, reaching to grab Junior’s drink from him. “I like the way his eyes do that thing…” he attempted to make his eyes do that crinkling thing Junior’s did, failing miserably.

“Oooh.” Bambam cat-called from where he sat huddled over Youngjae, drawing on his forehead. “If you like him so much why don’t you kiss him!”

Junior flushed 300 degrees, shielding his face with his beer can. “Who’s turn is it???” he squeaked.

“Mine!” Yugyeom said, standing wobbly. “Jackson, truth or dare!”

“Dare.” Jackson said happily, puffing his chest. “I am the great Jackson the third, I can handle anything.” He flicked his hair back happily, and JB tightened his arms around his waist possessively.

“OK!” Yugyeom grinned, rocking slowly side to side. “I dare you…I dare you to kiss Junior!” He sat, triumphantly back down, satisfied with his dare, but mostly because his head was spinning.

“Psh.” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Is that all you got?” Kissing Junior? He could do that in his sleep! He was Jackson, for crying out loud! He was fearless and great at everything; didn’t everyone know that already?? He could feel JB behind him, holding him tightly, barely breathing. “It’s ok, right?” he asked, turning to him, and JB nodded, his jaw tight. “Make it quick.” He said.

“Kaaaay...Junior, I’m coming to kiss you!” He sang-song happily, although in the back of his mind, he was just a little bit worried. JB looked ok—mostly. He was sitting just a little too firmly, his jaw set, and he was biting his lower lip, but he looked ok. Junior stood, widening his eyes as if to psyche Jackson out, but Jackson wasn’t down for it. He came at Junior, tongue first and Junior yelled, moving to escape but he grabbed him by his shirt, spun him round and kissed him firmly, and Junior scowled. “Ew!” he pouted, wiping at his mouth. “That was awful!”

“Yeah!” Yugyeom seconded, pouting. “I thought you weren’t chicken Jackson…that was a bad kiss.” He crossed his arms in disappointment and Jackson spun to look at him. “Why are you so rude to your elders!” he said moving to sit on top of Yugyeom.

“I wanted a good kiss!” Yugyeom whined. “A real one!”

“Fine!” Jackson said, standing up. “I’m no chicken!”

His eyes flitted to JB, who was staring quite intently at the carpet, and in the back of his mind he knew, he _knew_ this was a bad idea but he was just buzzed enough to go through with it. So he pulled Junior towards him, hesitated, and kissed him, properly. No tongue or anything, but there was definitely some head tilting, and Junior’s eyes may or may not have fallen shut, and maybe it felt kind of nice but it was just a dare and he was good at those, could he help that he was so good at everything!!?

He only realized it had been _way too long_ when the defeating silence of the room filled his ears, and he realized that Bambam had dropped his marker and was staring at him, and Yugyeom’s mouth hung open, and even Mark looked on with a mild interest (nothing interested Mark!). Shiiiit. He pulled back suddenly and cleared his throat, and Junior was blushing, no, this was bad bad bad, and he could feel JB’s eyes on them, twin fireballs piercing right through him.

Oh no.

“My turn!” Bambam said exuberantly, and Jackson moved back towards JB while his heart pounded, sitting beside him and trying to exude ‘calm’ while he could feel JB’s entire aura literally screaming at him.

“A-actually.” Junior stuttered, disoriented, “I’m going to take Youngjae to bed to protect him from more permanent marker dick drawings on his forehead.”  He stood, and Jackson watched JB stare him down as he walked over to Youngjae, helping him up.

“Hey,” he whispered, turning to JB, as Bambam dared Yugyeom to eat what **might’ve** been a raisin off the ground. JB didn’t look at him, he wasn’t looking at anything, then he stood, quite suddenly, knocking over the can of beer on the ground and stalking off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

“He’s mad.” Mark offered solemnly. “You should talk to him.”

“IT’S NOT A RAISIN!” Yugyeom hollered, sticking his tongue out, collapsing unto the ground.

“Go.” Mark urged. “I’ll..take careofmthem.”

Jackson stared at him incredulously. “I’ll take care of **all** of them.”  Junior said, rolling his eyes, a half-asleep Youngjae over his shoulder. “Go talk to him before he implodes.”

Jackson groaned, standing. All he’d wanted was a fun night, why did JB get so mad all the time?

 

“Do you have to ruin everything fun with your grumpiness?” Jackson snapped, annoyed that a light-hearted night had turned to shit because JB hadn’t been able to keep his temper under control. “You scared everyone.” He stood by the door, arms crossed, not really in the mood to make up right then.

JB was standing at the far end of the room, his back turned to Jackson, and Jackson could see his shoulders rising and falling. “Seriously…” Jackson said, faltering a little, but walking towards JB all the same. “Why do you get so mad over such stupid stuff?? You know you’re the one I like…it was a dare.”

JB didn’t say anything, nor did he turn around.

“If you’re going to keep getting mad over stuff like this, I’ll feel like you don’t trust me.” Jackson continued, now talking to JB’s turned back. “It’s not like…I kissed him behind your back. I asked if it was ok…and you had to make a thing over it.” He found himself getting angry now too, because no one liked being ignored, especially not by someone they liked so much. It upset him that sometimes JB disregarded his feelings, and that hurt.

“If you don’t have anything to say to me, I’m going to bed.” He said finally, hurt and frustration seeping through his tone.

“You don’t know what it’s like.” JB said suddenly, looking over his shoulder at Jackson. It was Jackson’s turn to say nothing now, for some reason he felt that special sort of bubbling pain in his chest, the pain that meant he might cry. “I’m sorry.” JB’s voice cracked, and he turned fully to face Jackson, who tightened his arms to keep his feelings close.

“I don’t know what what’s like.” Jackson mumbled bitterly, curious despite himself.

“I-I’ve liked you for so long…and on top of that, I like you so much.” JB breathed. “I feel like…after fighting my feelings all this time I get so jealous because…I just…want to be with you **all the time** and I honestly don’t know why you like me at all, so I keep thinking the second you find someone better you’ll go to them and I’ll be so miserable because—”

Jackson covered his face, this was so stupid, why did he feel tears in his eyes. He wasn’t sad, this wasn’t even a fight. Maybe he was happy? Was he happy that JB cared so much about him? Cared enough to get so upset he left the room. It was surprising that anyone could care about him this much, especially someone like JB. It was so hard to believe, he couldn’t really grasp it. Whatever reason, he covered his face with both hands and felt his fingers dampen with warmth.

“What’s there not to like about you.” He mumbled, blushing at how cheesy he sounded. JB walked up towards him and Jackson swiped at his face, hoping the darkness in the room protected him, but when he looked at JB his eyes were bleary.

“Jackson.” JB said, his eyes widening like he’d just realized something massive, and Jackson replied with a self-conscious ‘what?’

JB blinked, before smiling softly. “I’m going to do better, ok? And I know I’ve said that before. I…trust you, a lot. I trust that you like me, and you want to be with me. I don’t want to make you sad. I’m sorry.”

“Ok.” Jackson said, because he wanted this to be over. He was embarrassing himself with how emotional he felt. He liked JB a lot too, wasn’t it obvious? He liked him more than he even realized. “Ok.” He rubbed his eyes, feeling exhausted for some reason.

“I think I’ll still sleep in my room.” He said, unfolding his arms. “Mark’s so drunk he might throw up in his sleep, I should make sure he’s ok.”

“Ok.” JB nodded, and Jackson sighed before kissing him quickly even though he still wasn’t 100% in the mood. He was feeling a weird mix of emotions in his chest that he didn’t really know what to do with, but he wanted to be alone with them.

When he got back to his room, and had safely shut the door behind him, he changed into sleep clothes, before forcing Mark awake and helping him change as well.

“Jackson…” Mark said gently, reaching out to paw at Jackson’s cheek. “Why’re you crying.”

Jackson blinked, and he wasn’t sure why.

“I think I’m scared.” He replied, getting into the lower bunk with Mark, squeezing in beside him. Mark brushed his hair back clumsily, haphazardly. “Why?” he asked.

“I…” Jackson swiped at his cheeks, turning and hiding his face against Mark. Mark didn’t have the same comforting smell as JB, that smell of detergent and his cologne. He didn’t feel the way JB did either. But he was still his best friend, and especially comforting while he was drunk.

“I think I like JB more than…I thought.” He whispered, finding it suddenly difficult to speak. “When he get’s jealous it makes me mad but it makes me so…happy…too. Because…it’s crazy he could like me this much. And what happens when life gets busy and we can’t be together anymore?”  

Mark was silent, and Jackson thought he might’ve fallen asleep. He rubbed his face against Mark’s chest and tried to will himself to sleep, thoughts of heartbreak tugging at his heart.

“You guys can be together forever, I promise.” Mark said suddenly, reaching around in the darkness to find Jackson’s hand. He squeezed and Jackson remembered why he loved Mark. “You guys both like each other so much because you’re both so great. Don’t overthink it, just…like him.”

Jackson stared into the darkness. “What if people aren’t ok with it.” He said.

He realized suddenly, that the thing JB had said about him being stolen away, was exactly the worry he had about JB himself. JB had told him, from day one, that he wasn’t gay, he just _liked Jackson_. So when things got too hard, and he got annoyed with Jackson one too many times, what then? All at once Jackson realized why he didn’t want JB to give him a blowjob, because it would be a very glaring reminder that he was in fact, male. And if what JB felt for him was a one-time crush, he wanted it to last.

“Well.” Mark said, closing his eyes. “Fuck em.”


	11. Rapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which JB tries to control his jealousy, and Jooheon meets the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JB's POV.

Jackson Wang was a complete and total romantic at heart, miles beneath his boisterous bravado. The note that JB had since memorized was a constant reminder—now it sat tucked away with his best memories.

He’d needed to pull it out many times since the morning he’d found it underneath his door, and he’d needed it, because waking up without Jackson beside him was becoming increasingly hard to bear, his tiny twin mattress suddenly feeling like sprawling, endless landscape without that warm, sleepy body wedged against his. The note had been carefully folded twice, and crude hearts scrawled across the front would have indicated it was written by a child, if JB wasn’t so familiar with Jackson’s writing style.

He recited the content of the note to himself slowly whenever he felt that familiar bubbling sensation of jealousy in his stomach. When Junior’s arm lingered a few seconds too long round his boyfriend’s shoulder during group interviews, making his fingers twitch in his lap, he remembered number 7.

_‘I like you because of how your eyes disappear when you smile with all your heart.’_

He thought about it when Jackson flirted mindlessly with the hosts of the gameshows they participated in, his off-handed comments thrilling everyone in the room.

‘ _I like you because_ _you never stop caring for your friends.’_

He thought about it while they rehearsed, their MV release now dangerously close, and Jackson would goof off with Junior, getting just a bit too handsy. The way Junior’s hands lingered on Jackson’s waist did not go unnoticed.

_‘I like you because you always make me feel special.’_

 

 

 “Don’t make leader do aegyo, he sucks at it!” Yugyeom declared to the MC, and JB grinned at him, his demeanour always calm and cheery on these shows. He let the other boy’s personalities shine, and it made him happy when they got the chance to. “Who would you say has the best aegyo, apart from Mark!” The MC said, adding the last part hastily as he read everyone’s mind.

The question had been directed towards Youngjae and he looked thoughtful for a second before saying “Jackson, because even when he tries not to be cute, he’s cute. Sometimes we scold him for being too loud in the house—”

“Or in general.” Mark interjected softly.

“Or in general.” Youngjae tacked on in agreement. “But he pouts around till we hug him and love him again.”

JB fought through the list in his head, Jackson had taken the time to write 20 reasons he liked JB so much, and it was amazingly helpful. However, right now, he was blanking.

“Yes, everyone loves me because I’m JACKSON.” Jackson beamed, his face splitting into a happy grin, and JB smiled despite himself.

“Your leader seems to be a bit quiet.” The MC said, turning to JB, who worked to create a natural expression on his face. “Don’t you think Jackson has good aegyo?”

“Uhm…yes...” He said, trying to muster enthusiasm but not too much enthusiasm, and it was very difficult. _Did he find Jackson cute?_ He found him so cute, it was nearly unbearable. Every day JB noticed something new he loved about him, the way he played absent-mindedly with the rings on his fingers, the way he hugged people loosely like a little boy that had been taught to hug by his mom and did it automatically, his mind on other things. The way he cuddled against whoever was near to him (although that was also becoming a big point of frustration), and all of his many exaggerations.

It was also a lot easier to keep things natural before the rest of the group had found out they were dating, because now he also had to worry about Yugyeom’s face, which was fine when he forgot they were dating (90% of the time) but a total minefield the rest of the time. “Jackson is a bit too heavy handed for me.” He added dryly, suddenly remembering what he would say most naturally. Dead-pan, pithy, that was his persona.

“He’s just saying that because I stand out!” Jackson yelled, reaching over and grabbing the mic from JB. “Yes, it’s me, Jackson 2.0, here to bring you non-stop aegeo 24/7, you’re welcome!” he added a totally obnoxious wink at the end and JB slumped in visible relief. Thank god for Jackson.

 

 

“HEY!” Jackson hollered over his shoulder, despite the entire household being well within earshot of him. “Jooheon’s finally coming over today, so everyone better behave themselves!”

“Who?” Youngjae asked curiously, his eyes flitting over the laptop in front of him.

“The queen of England.” Jackson said dryly. “Who else I’ve been talking about him for months, Jooheon!”

“Oh, the dimples guy from Monsta X?” Bambam asked curiously, and Jackson scowled.

“No one listens to me!” He griped. “I’ve been excited for this for so long! We’re gunna be on Celebrity Bromance together in 2 weeks!”

JB was well aware of that. Jackson had a list of idols he had special idolizations for, and Jooheon was definitely really high on that list (not as high as Rapmon, but Jackson hadn’t mentioned that he thought _Rapmon_ was cute). He bit his tongue to stop himself from saying something snarky, as Jackson happily tapped away on his phone.

“He’s coming in 10 minutes!” Jackson exclaimed. “EVERYONE BE CHILL SERIOUSLY CALM DOWN.” He’d been yelling about Jooheon the entire morning, including a countdown.

JB smiled because he knew Jackson would be glancing towards him to gauge his emotions in a second, and anyways, he _was_ happy for him. Even though it got him nervous the way Jackson idolized other rappers, he knew it didn’t mean anything.

“He’s cute.” Junior said off-handedly, flipping through his magazine.

“He’s definitely not into guys.” Jackson retorted.

“How do _you_ know?” Junior asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Because…” Jackson faltered. “He’s a badass rapper!”

“Aren’t _you_ a badass rapper.” Junior said dryly.

Jackson said nothing, stumped. “DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM.” He exploded.

“Jackson chill, what do you think I’m going to do?” Junior laughed, shaking his head.

“SHUT UP HE’S HERE!” Jackson said, racing off to the door, before shooting down the stairs.

“Are you gunna get jealous, leader?” Yugyoem called from the kitchen, his mouth red with popsicle.

JB smiled tightly. “About what?” he said evenly. “I have nothing to be jealous about…so…there…”

“Ok.” Yugyeom mumbled, biting his popsicle, unconvinced.  

“Guys!” Jackson said, flinging the door open. “It’s Jooheon, he’s here! And he brought me a present!” He lifted the bag over his head triumphantly.

“Hello!” Jooheon greeted cheerily, bowing quickly in all directions as Jackson shook the bag, before flinging it open. “Oooh!” he declared appreciatively, plunking a steel grey cap from the bag. “I like it!” He flicked his hair back, before shoving it on excitedly. “I look great, right?”

Jooheon grinned, his dimples on display, and JB watched Junior checking him out discreetly. “Not everyone’s home, but this is JB, Junior, Yugyeom and Youngjae…” Jackson said, waving his hand in the general directions of the other members.

“Nice to meet all of you.” Jooheon said respectfully, flashing a smile, and Jackson shot Junior, who’s eyes lingered a second too long, a look, and Junior rolled his eyes, glancing away.

“I was thinking we could go out for dinner...” Jooheon’s voice faded as he followed Jackson into his bedroom, and JB strained his ears till he couldn’t hear them anymore. He stared at his phone and willed himself to focus, but the minutes ticked by on and on and on, it felt like his entire life, and all he could think that enough time had passed for the two of them to get married and start a family for God’s sake. Eventually they emerged again, laughing, clearly far more bonded in the few minutes they’d spent talking.

_Instant connection._

JB’s nails dug into his side as he tried not to freak out and storm out of the room or maybe punch Jooheon a little.

“We’re going out for BBQ close by!” Jackson said cheerily, before adding, “You’re free to join!” His eyes screamed ‘You are completely not free to join don’t you dare’ and everyone got the hint. “Have fun!” Yugyeom waved his popsicle stick. “Eat lots of meat for me!”

“It was nice meeting you guys; I hope we get to hang out sometime.” Jooheon said, before turning to Jackson and jumping back into a conversation. They both spoke rapidly, excitedly, with a lot of ‘yo yo, but listen here’ and JB knew Jackson was glad and he loved making friends. They turned and left without even a glance backwards, nudging each other and laughing. It took everything JB had not to chase after them. He trusted Jackson, and Jackson wasn’t going to forget him every time another guy came along, that was ludicrous. Still, his gut twisted as he tried to pass the time, seconds ticking by like molasses as he played Mario Kart with Yugyeom and lost, tried reading a book, and practiced his English, before eventually crawling into his bed at 11pm, Youngjae below him, happily singing to himself.

“Has Jackson come back?” Junior asked softly, rubbing his eyes as he peeked into their room, and Youngjae shook his head no. “He must be having a good time.” JB tugged at his fingers under the covers, pretending to sleep. He wanted Jackson beside him. Why did it hurt so much when someone you liked was gone? He was trying to be good, really hard, because he knew his jealousy could ruin things. He forced his eyes closed and tried to sleep, thoughts of every possible thing that could go wrong in his mind.

He wished he could rap.

 


	12. Touching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackson feels loved.

JB was pretty good at facing facts for the most part. And he knew, as he stood there, shivering with an umbrella in his sleep clothes and a jacket, he knew, he was totally whipped. Jackson hadn’t tried, but he’d totally succeeded. JB shivered, breathing in deeply to keep himself warm. The tiny shelter he stood under wasn’t doing much to protect him from the freezing cold rain.

Jackson had texted him a quick ‘On my way home’ about 20 minutes ago, and even though it was 12:40 in the morning and he’d actually managed to fall asleep, and he really didn’t need to do this at all because it was literally 10 steps from the car to get into the JYPE building but none of those things had stopped him from getting out of bed, grabbing an umbrella and waiting at the front of the building for 15 minutes, falling asleep as he stood.

“Hey!” Jackson said in surprise after stepping out of the car that pulled up the curb. JB shuffled towards him, trembling, and pulled him under the umbrella, before wordlessly walking towards their building.

“How long have you been out here??” Jackson asked. “You’re shivering!” He turned to JB once they were safely back under the shelter, looking at him in bewilderment. “Why are you down here?”

“I knew you’d forget your umbrella.” JB whispered, his teeth chattering painfully. “Dummy.”

“It’s a 5 second run to the building!” Jackson chided, concerned. “You’re gunna get sick! Why aren’t you in bed!? Why…” his shrill voice faded as he stared at JB, and JB couldn’t read his expression, but he loved the way Jackson’s eyes shone and the way his face looked when he wasn’t screaming.

Jackson’s eyes flitted to the ground abashedly, and JB felt his small, ring-adored hand grip his. It was so deliciously warm, he gripped back and squeezed, and Jackson stepped closer, kissing him quite suddenly. JB wrapped his arm around Jackson’s waist and pulled him close---he loved how pliant Jackson was in his arms, the way he so trustingly pressed against him, moving willingly in whichever direction JB pulled him. “I guess I missed you.” JB whispered, pulling back just lightly, feeling the warmth of Jackson’s breath ghosting across his lips.

“I wasn’t gone long.” Jackson whispered back, but there was no bite in his voice, there was something else JB couldn’t quite place, and his eyes still shone like diamonds, almost as if he was about to cry, but that wouldn’t make any sense.  JB kissed him again, his heart swelling. It felt so good to have this boy in his arms. He liked him so much, he liked Jackson so much it was like a drug that drove him crazy. “We should go inside.” Jackson said suddenly, his eyes shooting around furtively.

“Shit, right.” JB said. It was late and extremely dark but still—kissing like this outside their building was a very very bad idea. They rushed inside and up to their dorms, but once they got in Jackson was kissing JB again, in a way that meant he wanted something.

“How was your night with Jooheon?” JB asked, because he’d been practicing how to say it without any anger or jealously and he was pleased at how good a job he did.

Jackson kissed down his neck, his breath short, it was almost like he had something to prove, but JB didn’t even think to complain. “Jackson…” he whispered in surprise as Jackson pulled deftly at his sweatpants.

“I’m gunna heat you up.” Jackson said throatily, and JB gasped as he felt Jackson’s warm mouth, on his dick, right at there in the entryway. They’d done this a lot of times now, but never like this, never while Jackson was still fully clothed down to his shoes and jacket, even that damn steel grey cap, still on his head. Never while JB was standing. It felt like a porno, and JB (a little vindictively) knocked Jackson’s cap off and lightly gripped his hair, thrusting gently into his mouth.

“Jackson…you’re the hottest boyfriend I could **_ever_** ask for.” He whispered, his breath coming out in short spurts. Jackson licked and sucked like this was his last task on earth, and the way he looked up at JB as he did it—fuck it was incredible how debauched he could make himself look. JB had never understood how something like drool could ever be sexy, but it made complete sense now.

To make it all the hotter, Jackson’s knees were spread and he was rubbing himself through his jeans.

JB wanted to tell Jackson to take it out and jerk off so he could see, but he’d asked before and Jackson had said no, and he really did not want to ruin this moment, not while Jackson was moaning and staring up at him like that, and his knees felt so weak he thought he might collapse. He focused on breathing in and out, deeply, trying to keep himself going. He didn’t want this to end.

“You know…” Jackson said, rubbing his tongue against the tip of JB’s cock, lapping at the underside. “While I was with Jooheon, I thought of doing this to you.”

“Oh fuck…” JB hissed, tightening his grip on Jackson’s hair, raking his fingers through it, inciting a hungry moan from Jackson. “You’re going to make me cum, J--ackson.”

“It got me hard. I wanted you so badly.” Jackson whispered, before taking JB in, all the way and JB groaned, feeling his hips bucking on their own but he wasn’t worried because Jackson liked it when he didn’t hold back. And right now he couldn’t. It was a blissful orgasm, and waves of pleasure kept hitting him after he’d cum and Jackson licked him clean, his chest heaving from exertion.

“Wow…” he whispered as Jackson stood, kissing him, and he could taste his arousal.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been turned on more than I was knowing you waited for me in the rain.” Jackson mumbled, shaking his head. “You’re so…urgh….you’re so kind.”

“No I’m not.” JB said, shaking his head, and Jackson looked at him curiously.

“I just can’t help myself when it comes to you.” JB finished, and Jackson shoved him, his cheeks lighting aflame. “S-shut up.” He stammered, covering his cheeks, and JB leaned down and kissed his boyfriend’s fingers. He didn’t care how cheesy he was; he knew he’d be rolling his eyes even at himself if he was an onlooker, but Jackson, Jackson, even the name sounded sweet on his lips. He’d never liked someone so much in his life, it made his head spin.

Jackson smiled at him, watching him, before playfully shoving is finger into JB’s mouth, wriggling it around. “You’re _such_ a cheeseball.” He whispered, watching the way JB sucked his finger, maintaining eye contact. He fell silent, his eyes flitting over JB’s tongue as it lapped and nipped at his finger. It felt really good, and JB smiled slyly, watching Jackson’s eyes cloud over.

“W-we should go to bed before it’s too late.” Jackson said suddenly, clearing his throat. JB smiled smugly and wrapped his arms around Jackson, nuzzling him. He was so happy with Jackson, being with him made his heart sing. “You’re kind of cute sometimes, you know.” Jackson mused as JB kissed his cheek.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice your little antic.” Jackson added, snatching up his gift hat from off the ground. JB smiled innocently. “I just like to grab your hair.”

“I like it when you grab my hair.”

“I like the sounds you make when I grab your hair.”

“…We should go to bed before you get hard again.”

“Too late.” JB said, pressing up behind Jackson. When was he going to get inside him??? His dick really wanted to know…for a friend.

“You’re scary!” Jackson exclaimed in a whisper-yell, but he pressed back against JB, who rubbed against him like a dog in heat. “Fine, I’ll do it again. But only because you were good today.”

“Admit it, you love having my dick in your mouth.” JB teased.

“I love having your dick in my mouth.” Jackson repeated throatily, before deviously adding, “Daddy.”

“Oh my god, DON’T.” JB groaned. Jackson had started teasing him about that before ONE time he had called Jackson baby in the spur of the moment and Jackson hadn’t let him forget it. If Jackson kept teasing him with ‘daddy’ he was going to develop a kink and he really didn’t want that. But maybe Jackson was developing a kink all on his own. Briefly, the image of Jackson on his hands and knees, a collar around his neck, panting and begging flashed past JB’s eyes, and he felt himself harden even more in his pants.

“Seems like you liked that.” Jackson teased, and JB scoffed in embarrassment. “Uh…did you like it when I looked at you while I did it?” he suddenly sounded self-conscious and JB marvelled at how quickly he switched emotions.

“I loved it.” He said. “I love everything you do.”

Jackson beamed. “I’m gunna suck your dick so hard.” He whispered in excitement. How, how did he manage to be so cute, and so fucking sexy at the same time?

JB was so happy he’d decided to go out with the umbrella after all.


	13. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which confessions are made, and Jackson realizes something about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's POV.

“Can you believe JYP turned down that gig for us?” Youngjae asked through a mouthful of meat, closing his mouth with a satisfied ‘ _mmm_.’ The boys were eating out at the nearby BBQ restaurant, save for Mark, who was spending time with his visiting parents.

“JYP doesn’t let us do gigs paid in cash, no matter what the payout is.” Junior quipped decidedly. “That’s part of the reason JYPE has so few scandals.”

“I guess.” Youngjae said, unconvinced. “It’s so much money though, what’s the harm, anyway?”

“Tax evasion, not having everything done by the books, possible abuse of party members involved, and that means _us_.” Junior said, ticking the points off with one hand as he sipped Sprite with the other.

JB was busy manning the grill, the rate of chicken going unto the grill and into his mouth just about even, although, to his credit, he was also popping some into Jackson’s mouth when his was too full. Jackson liked the way JB treated him in public, always close but never _too_ close, a brush of leg against his own, fingertips skimming and lingering for a second too long as their hands touched, and the way he didn’t make much eye contact, but Jackson knew he was somehow always looking out for him.

“JYP knows what he’s doing.” Jackson defended, his brow quit to knit as he poked his chopsticks in Youngjae’s direction. “You know how many scandals other companies are going through right now??”

“A lot?” Bambam offered helpfully.

“Exactly.” Jackson said, nodding sagely, and he felt JB smirking at him. “One day, everyone here is going to realize what a genius I am, and you’ll all feel really dumb. So—” he was distracted by the piece of meat JB offered just then and opened his mouth to take it.

“You found a way to stop Jackson from talking?” Junior exclaimed in mock shock. “Usually we need Mark for that.”

“Mark’s probably having a lot of fun with his parents.” Jackson said casually, and again, he felt JB’s discerning eyes glance towards him. JB was well aware of how much he missed his parents, despite how hard he worked to hide that face. Ever since the boys had pranked him into thinking his mom was going to visit (which he knew JB in particular had ended up feeling guilty about) he’d always been more sensitive to Jackson’s feelings in regards to his mom and dad.

Especially lately, his mom had been visiting the doctor more and more often and while she always assured Jackson she was perfectly fine, Jackson was well-aware of who he had developed his tendency to fake a smile for the ones he loved from. “Yeah, man, I wish my dad was that cool.” Yugyeom complained, watching Bambam steal meat from his place. “Hey…” he said half-heartedly.

Jackson stared down into his plate, his appetite suddenly gone. A warm, comforting hand appeared on his leg under the table, the thumb rubbing back and forth in gentle motions. Jackson glanced to JB, to see him scarfing down food with the same intensity and determination as always, but for the brief second his eyes met Jackson they were so comforting Jackson felt warmed straight down to his core. JB had always been good at multi-tasking.

 

“So you’re telling me he’s _never_ given you a blowjob??” Junior stared at Jackson with the same look he usually reserved for Yugyeom when he asked one of his always-misguided questions about being gay.

“No, I said I didn’t want one.” Jackson mumbled. How had the conversation gotten to this point?? He was pretty sure they’d began by talking about Jigsaw puzzles.

“And I said you were lying, so what’s the real reason?” Junior said flatly.

“Not everyone is as sex-obsessed as you are, y’know.” Jackson tried defending, realizing his mistake the instant Junior’s eyebrow shot up. “You know I can **hear** you two right?”

 Jackson scrunched his nose up in embarrassment, his eyes flitting away.

“Are you worried about how it will feel? Because trust me…even JB can’t mess up a blow job.” Junior said, amusement in his voice. Jackson was _definitely_ not worried about JB messing up, the idea alone of JB’s mouth on him had pushed him over the edge dozens of time in the shower.

“I just…worry.” Jackson said weakly. He knew he sounded irrational, and he felt it too, sometimes. But the fear of JB rejecting him after they got too intimate gripped him. He was perfectly happy right now, so why mess with that? JB said he wanted to give him one but who wouldn’t rather just get one instead? And if he did everything he could to keep JB happy then everything would be ok, right?

Right?

“Jackson…what’re you worried about? JB’s wanted to be with you for a long time. Trust me, you can smell it on him.” Junior said, smirking. “You should open up for him.”

Jackson’s face relaxed, his mind whirring with thought. Maybe Junior was right.

“Literally.” Junior added with a Cheshire cat grin, adding before Jackson could yell at him, “Talk to him”.

 

“You’re hogging all the blankets…” Jackson mumbled into the pillow, keeping his eyes shut as he blindly reached out in search of warmth. “When I take the blankets from you you’re forced to come snuggle to me more.” JB said deviously, and Jackson gasped dramatically, shuffling closer towards JB in the bed. “Brilliant.” He said.

“Did you know we’ve been dating for 3 months?” JB said casually, and Jackson grinned into his shoulder. “Don’t try to hide the excitement in your tone.” He dead-panned, finally opening one almond shaped eye. “I know you keep track.”

JB smiled his signature smile—all teeth and Jackson watched him sleepily, watched his expression shift from that one to one he couldn’t quite place, but he’d seen it before. He sat up a little, suddenly placing it.  He saw it the night with the umbrella, when JB had looked at him like he realized something big, but they’d never talked about it.

“What’s that look?”  he asked curiously. “You keep giving it to me lately.” He tensed, because if JB made a joke about ‘giving it to him lately’ he was going to flip. But JB only kept looking at him like that, a bashful smile eventually creeping across his face, before eventually glancing down, eyelashes protecting him.

“Tell me!” Jackson said, suddenly curious. “What’s the secret!” Whenever JB didn’t say anything for a while, he started panicking irrationally. ‘It’s our 3 month anniversary, I’m ready to get off this train, let’s break up, BYE!’. His fingers chilled, although he knew that wasn’t it. JB wouldn’t be smiling if that was it. Still his heart did somersaults in his chest. Whoever had come up with that analogy was brilliant and deserved an award.

“JB!” He yelled.

“I love you.”

They were soft and sweet at the same time. JB had said them before, no he hadn’t, he’d never. But Jackson had known it to be true, in his heart, how could he not. No…he hadn’t. He didn’t know why he found it so stupidly hard to believe he was worthy of something like that, maybe from years of having his imperfections drilled into him? But JB didn’t lie, JB wore his feelings like a crest on his chest and right now---currently, in this moment, he’d lifted his eyes to look into Jackson’s and Jackson could not meet those eyes, he couldn’t. He found somewhere else to look, at the strings hanging from JB’s sweater, swinging lazily as he moved. He watched them and let himself feel _everything_.

Jackson Wang was not a flowery person, that was JB’s thing. But the way his fingers shook in his lap as he sat there, his entire being filling with a sense of loss, freedom, and vulnerability all at once—it was cathartic. He felt the tears coming without coaxing, hot and fast, silently. He’d known love in his life, Jackson had never been unpopular. He had parents who loved him, had friends who loved him, fans.

He didn’t want to think it, he **_didn’t_**. He didn’t want to think ‘But I’ve never loved myself.’ It was such a cliche, so much so that as he cried he scrunched his nose up in embarrassment at himelf but the words still burned right through his throat and down to his heart. ‘I’ve never loved myself, I’ve never, never.’

And he didn’t know why.

He’d always worked hard, he’d always wanted to give a lot and do better whenever he could. In his striving to be his best, he’d never been satisified with just being. Every flaw was permanently pressed to his mind, waiting in line. They were tangible thoughts, pressed right up behind his eyes, thoughts of laziness, stupidity, clumsiness, shortness, inadequacy. They made him work hard till he couldn’t any more. And he’d seen the same traits in JB, felt that same desperation to better from him too. It was why he knew JB understood.

JB reached out to hold his hand and he didn’t look alarmed. He _knew_.

Why did it matter so much that JB loved him anyways? Why did it feel so liberating!?

‘Because...’

Well because…

**He didn’t have to.**

He didn’t have to. He knew Jackson, he knew all of his flaws, he’d seen them, he’d even pointed some of them out. Not the cute little ‘quirky’ flaws, the ones deep down that haunted him. He knew them and _he loved him_ and he was aware of them but **he loved him**. If JB could love him he had hope he could love himself too.

JB’s forehead pressed against his and it was electric; a tilt of his head begged a question that Jackson answered with an open mouth, pulling him close, no, closer than that. He could feel his wetness against JB’s cheek and on his tongue, and when JB pulled back, his eyes could have pulled the tides in with them. They were captivating.

“I…” Jackson said, clearing his throat. He’d been silent for 10 minutes now, just them kissing softly and _being,_ until his fingers had stopped shaking and his heart had stopped growing.

“I…same.” He said finally.

JB’s eyes flooded with so many emotions, and Jackson was so ready to drown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the tone is a little different but I thought it was fitting!


	14. All At Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything begins to happen very very quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry, there's a lot of smut in this and the next chapter. Please don't blame me, the boys are just at that stage of their relationship, I tried to stop them and they just wouldn't.

Ever since JB had confessed to Jackson, things had changed between them. It had been both subtle and apparent to everyone around them. Before, no matter how close Jackson had held him, it had always felt like arms length, a force field between them. Now, when he felt his skin against Jackson’s, he felt everything about him, his warmth, his softness, his vulnerability.

More importantly, much more importantly, Jackson was finally, after three and a half months of dating, going to let JB give him a blowjob.  JB had never been more excited to put his mouth on anything as much as this. They had been preparing for about a week now, Jackson had let him take a shower with him, where he was allowed to _look_ but not touch, and that had been complete and utter torture (Jackson’s biceps and ass were honestly God’s gift to humanity) and then, a few times, Jackson had let JB touch him (to JB’s relief Jackson wasn’t as big as he was, but _nearly_ , and his dick was so pretty he’d been toying with the idea of letting it inside him, maybe, one day –but he certainly was never going to tell Jackson that).  

But tonight, tonight he was allowed to look, touch, and do whatever he wanted, and he like a kid in the candy store.

“Aren’t you tired yet?” JB urged, peeking over Jackson’s shoulder as he played Bambam in Super Smash Bros. “We had an 8 hour rehearsal day.”

“And who’s fault was that---you’re button smashing BAMBAM.” Jackson yelped, reaching over to shove his junior.

“I’m _winning_.” Bambam pointed out. “Stop picking Kirby anyways!”

“He reminds Jackson of himself.” Junior pointed out dryly, his voice a couple decibels lower as a result of Mark, sprawled across his lap in the couch, fast asleep. “Can you focus on signing these posters, _leader_?”

“Why do you want Jackson to go to bed so badly?” Yugyeom asked curiously, looking up from his pile of posters, nearly completed. JB scowled down, signing his name with a vivaciousness usually reserved for particularly complicated dance moves.

Yugyeom’s eyes lit up. “Is it a sex thing?” He said, and Junior chortled from his place in the couch.

“Leader, does Jackson talk as much during sex as he does the rest of the time? I don’t get how you can be attracted to him when he’s so loud.” Yugyeom continued, earning a glare from Jackson.

“YAH!” He yelled, tossing the controller down and tackling Yugyeom to the ground. “I’m VERY SEXY. It’s in my name. Jackson, _wild and sexy_. You’re the worst maknae! You’re supposed to be cuter than this!”

JB smiled to himself watching Jackson out of the corner of his eye. Urgh, his muscles and his slender neck and the way his eyes flashed with passion. Everything about Jackson was sexy, even his shrieks.

“Trust me, he’s very different when I get him alone.” JB said carefully, flashing Jackson a look. It was the look that for some reason, Jackson really liked, when he narrowed his eyes just so, and smiled right out of the corner of his mouth, biting his lower lip. He used it when he wanted Jackson to want him as much has he wanted Jackson (100% all the time).  Jackson’s eyelid fluttered briefly, and, as if in a trance he lifted himself off of the whining Yugyeom’s chest, staring at JB. “I’m tired.” He said throatily, and Junior rolled his eyes.

“Get a room.” He muttered, stroking back Mark’s fringe.  

“Kay!” Jackson grinned, grabbing JB’s hand and practically dragging him to the bedroom.

“The fact that Jackson Wang is getting laid and I’m not…” Junior sighed. “What is the world coming to.”

“This means I have to sign JB’s posters for him, doesn’t it?” Yugyeom said glumly, sitting up.

“Now I don’t have a player 2.” Bambam mumbled to himself, staring at the pause screen.

“Never have sex guys. It ruins lives.” Junior offered gravely.

 

 

 “Didn’t I tell you that look was cheating?” Jackson scolded as JB set about pulling his pants off (a much easier task on Jackson than himself because Jackson favoured pretty baggy pants) kissing at his hipbones. “You told Youngjae to sleep in Mark’s room, right?” He asked, pushing Jackson’s shirt up around his chest.

“Yep, I told him, I said _, tonight I’m getting a blowjob and I’ll scream so loud it’ll traumatize you if you stay in the same room as me.”_   Jackson rattled off, lifting his arms to let JB pull his shirt off.

“Your heart’s beating so fast. You nervous?” JB whispered, watching Jackson bite his lip in the darkness. Jackson looked down at him, brushing hair back from JB’s forehead. “No.” he hesitated. “I know you want to do this; I just don’t know why.” He frowned.

“Why do you like to do it to me?” JB asked, lifting himself to observe Jackson, his hand resting against the elastic band of Jackson’s boxers. “I like the look you make…the sounds you make.” Jackson smiled. “You look so happy, like…totally lost. It’s addicting.”

“I want to make you happy like that.” JB said, cupping Jackson’s chin and forcing him to look at him.

“You make me happy every time you—”

“Who’s the cheeseball now?” JB teased, kissing Jackson firmly on the mouth. “Shut up and let me blow you. You’re going to like it, and _trust me_ , I’m going to love it.” To be entirely honest, he hadn’t exactly given a blowjob before, but he knew he would love it. He’d wanted Jackson in his mouth for nearly 2 years now.

“Ok, do it, just do it.” Jackson mumbled.

JB pulled Jackson’s boxers down, and was underwhelmed by an almost fully flaccid member. What was he supposed to do with this? All the smut he’d ever read had _big angry cocks that sprang from boxers eagerly, precum dripping freely, ready to be tasted._ Jackson’s looked like it would rather be asleep. Still he pressed on, lubing his hand before beginning to stroke Jackson gently. “You know,” he said. “You might be the first guy I’ve been attracted to, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly stop liking you when I realize you have a dick. I know it’s here.”

Jackson smiled, and JB could tell he was trying to focus on breathing in and out evenly. “I know.” Jackson said, mumbling the occasional _that feels good._

“What can I do to get you hard?” JB mused, to both himself and Jackson, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing against Jackson’s tip. He was throbbing in his pants, the fact that Jackson wasn’t was hard to grasp. Jackson didn’t say anything, carding his fingers through JB’s hair.

“Mmmm…maybe I should call you _baby_.” JB grinned, and Jackson laughed, covering his face.

“Don’t.” he mumbled, and JB’s mouth fell open as he felt Jackson twitch in his hand.

“Seriously??” he laughed, looking up at Jackson, who covered his face with a pillow in embarrassment. “You like it when I call you baby?”

“No!” Jackson yelped from behind the pillow.

“Why do you like it?” JB asked. “That’s so kinky…”

“I…like…the…I-I like feeling like I’m yours.” Jackson said so softly JB had to move closer to him (he hadn’t even known Jackson could _be_ that quiet).

“Jackson, you’re mine, 100%. Do you seriously forget how possessive I am of you??” JB asked, excited that he had something to work with. He thumbed the underside of Jackson’s cock, feeling it begin to react to him. He bit his lip unconsciously as he looked at it, a groan escaping him.

“Urgh…I love the sounds you make.” Jackson said, still hidden behind the pillow. 

JB was distracted now, too aroused to think much. Without warning, he put his mouth over Jackson, tentatively, and sucked. It felt familiar—he liked it. The idea that Jackson was hard (finally) and in his mouth made him harder still, and he licked at the shaft. Jackson tasted like cherry—mostly the lube—but he was delicious all on his own too. “You taste good.” He breathed, this time taking in as much as he could. He really liked the feeling, Jackson was hard and warm and throbbing in his mouth, as he found a rhythm, bobbing his head, careful to avoid teeth, he was vaguely aware of Jackson’s breathing, coming in quick, uneven spurts. “JB…” Jackson sounded confused, his voice hardly there, and JB didn’t stop because he knew that meant he was doing a good job.  He continued to stroke Jackson as he sucked, occasionally stopping to circle the head when his jaw got tired—which Jackson actually seemed to love, if the sounds he made were any indication.

“JB.” Jackson’s fingers gripped the bedsheets, his legs spreading unconsciously. “It feels so f-fucking good.” JB hummed in excitement. Precum! He could taste it, kind of salty, but with the same underlying honey flavour the rest of Jackson had to him. He was so excited. Jackson was thrusting into his mouth now, and he focused on not breathing. Jackson seemed to be somewhere else, his breath coming quick and deep now, occasionally halting, and JB ached so hard for him. He understood what Jackson had meant, seeing him like this was the ultimate turn on.

“Don’t stop…” Jackson said suddenly, as if JB had had any plans to—he could feel Jackson tensing, he knew what was coming. “Come for me baby.” He couldn’t resist saying it. He’d always wanted to say that. It was in every bad porno but it never failed to turn him on. Jackson seemed to feel the same way, because in seconds he was cumming, hard and warm into JB’s mouth. It was more than JB thought it would be, but he was determined not to cough, and he didn’t. He liked the taste already, because it was Jackson. He lapped Jackson clean, listening to the sound of his breathing slow.

“Oh my god…” Jackson said finally, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. “Oh my god. Oh my **god**.”

JB grinned, pulling himself up to kiss Jackson, who paid hardly any attention to him, still totally lost in his emotions. “You…you should have forced me to take it!” Jackson exclaimed, tugging at his hair in disbelief. “Oh my god…it was so good…I…wow.”

“I told you—” JB started, but Jackson cut him off with a kiss.

“Don’t talk to me.” He said seriously. “Another one, right now. And then another after that.”

“Ha—”

“Now.”

JB laughed, excited to the core. Jackson liked it, he _really_ liked it. “If you think that was great, wait till we have sex.” He interjected, wanting to make sure to keep that at the forefront of Jackson’s mind, just in case he was so inclined to be interested.

“I don’t think I can wait.” Jackson said suddenly, and JB stared at him.

“Jackson don’t play with me.” He breathed. Was he hallucinating?

“I’m not.” Jackson said, looking at him. “I think…no. I want it. I want to have sex, right now.”

JB had never heard sweeter words in his life.

“Jackson, I love you so much.” He groaned, hugging Jackson close.

“Take your clothes off.” Jackson replied, tugging at him.

“No, I’m serious, Jackson, I _adore you_.”

“I love you too, take your clothes off.” Jackson repeated, wrestling JB down on the bed and kissing him all over. JB grabbed Jackson and hugged him tightly, revelling in his warmth. Things were happening so quickly his head was spinning. “Are you sure?” he asked suddenly. “I can wait…I can wait as long as you want.”

“I think I made you wait long enough.” Jackson looked at him, and JB could tell that mattered to him.

“Damn straight.” He smirked against Jackson’s mouth.

“You better not be.” Jackson giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll only be writing a few more chapters of this fic! I know...
> 
> It's so fun to write, but I have a lot of other other ideas for more plot-based fics, and I actually didn't mean for this one to go on so long, I just got excited and attached haha. Just wanted to give fair warning! Maybe 2-3 chapters left.


	15. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which...sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so nervous to write I just went ahead and did it. I'm actually sort of happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> THERE IS SMUT.  
> Okbye.

Once, when Jackson was 6 years old, he had fallen asleep at the start of a birthday party and slept nearly through the entire thing. His mom hadn’t woken him up, she’d let him sleep on the living room couch while the other kids had played on the bouncy castle, and a literal _travelling circus_ had come. Apparently it had been the party of the century, and chubby little Jackson had slept through the entire thing, shrouded in his Mickey Mouse blanket.

His mom told him she had _tried_ to wake him up, but that was a likely story, wasn’t it?

This felt exactly like that time, except JB’s dick was the travelling circus, and thank _God_ he wasn’t 6 anymore.

The first time had been uncomfortable almost the whole way—and short-lived.

 

 

“Tell me when to move.” JB urged, and Jackson grit his teeth, feeling his entire body splitting open. He didn’t like it any if it.

“Don’t you dare move, fuck…” Jackson covered his face, ignoring JB’s soothing words because all he could feel something inside him that should not be there. People did this? Why did people do this? He wanted to go back to blowjobs, this was awful.

“ _Stopstopstop_.” He said finally, groaning in relief as JB pulled out.

“Uhm…that was just the tip.” JB said gently, trying not to smile. Jackson stared at his boyfriend’s dick, it couldn’t have been more than 6.5 inches (why did people EVER want more, he wanted less please). “You’re doing something weird with it!” He whimpered.

“Jackson, you’re clenching so hard it’s amazing I can even fit that much in.”

“I am NOT. I’m wide open for you!” Jackson yelled in frustration. “You want a procession??”

This wasn’t exactly the xxx, steamy goodness he had expected.

“Shh…let me try something else.” JB said, thumbing Jackson’s cheek soothingly. Jackson scowled at him. “Don’t tell me to shh..” he mumbled.

“Can you get on all fours?” JB asked patronizingly. “Sir?”

“ **Don’t** put it back in.” Jackson scowled, doing as he was told.

“I won’t.” JB was admittedly very patient, Jackson wasn’t sure he’d be able to pull out of himself if someone asked him too. JB ran soothing circles against his lower back, and he tried not to be embarrassed about the position he was in. Admittedly, there was something very sexy about being like this—the vulnerability was thrilling. Despite all of their sexual goings-ons, Jackson had never been fully naked in front of JB before.

“I bet you like this, don’t you?” JB asked, his voice hardly a whisper. Jackson made a face. He wasn’t going to reveal any moreh kinks for the night. But _yes, yes he did._

And he liked the next thing JB did, although it had always sounded really gross on paper, but the second it began he understood. “JB…fuck…” he whispered, feeling his body turn to mush as JB’s tongue pressed against his entrance. Oh, he liked that. He liked that a lot. “God…I’m so happy I showered properly today…”

He could feel JB smile, and then go back to _that_ thing, that made his fingers tremble and every nerve within him spark into flames, oh _god fuck_. Now he could feel it inside him, and he buried his face into the pillow, beet red, embarrassed at the sounds he couldn’t stop himself from making. He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t even if he tried—and later, JB would tease him endlessly about it.

_‘Uhn…uhn…JB…f-fuck…’_

He could feel JB’s tongue press deeper than before and he felt himself twitch harder than he’d ever known possible. And suddenly, he wanted more, this wasn’t enough.

 _‘Oh.’_ That was the point.

“Put it in.” he groaned, pressing back against JB in desperation. He could tell JB was smiling, but he could also feel the heat radiating from him—he wasn’t the only one past the point of arousal.

It wasn’t as painful as the first time, but he still didn’t exactly _like it_. It felt like…what was a good analogy…it felt like having a _dick in your ass_ , there was really no better way to put it. Jackson breathed in and out slowly as inch by inch, JB pressed into him. _‘I love him, I like this.’_   Jackson told himself. He didn’t really need to remind himself he loved JB. JB was helping him to work through issues he had buried within himself—thinking they were of little importance. The liking this part would take some convincing.

“Is that _it_?” He asked finally. “Or are you going to keep whipping out more like a damned clown.”

“That’s it.” JB said. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

 

 

Right, so, short-lived and uncomfortable. Maybe 4 minutes’ tops, 4 uncomfortable minutes during which Jackson had scrunched his eyes shut, tried to breath and waited for it to be over. He had worried that he wasn’t cut out for sex, maybe this wasn’t for him. At least JB had cum (but who wouldn’t cum from being inside him, he was Jackson Wang after all) and he’d been happy for him--but the worry and reluctance to try again probably would have overwhelmed him if not for the chance to get rimmed again. That part had been fucking fantastic.

Those events had lead to them now, their second time, almost a week later, and Jackson reached back blindly for JB because suddenly and all at once, he had been hit with a wave of pleasure similar to what he’d felt when JB had been rimming him. “Wait—again.” He gasped, feeling his hips buck to their own accord. Hope tingled in his stomach, and he felt the tension draining from his body. There was nothing wrong with him. That had felt pretty damn great.

“Here?” JB asked throatily, pushing up inside Jackson right at the same angle and oh fuck, there was something there. That felt _amazing_. “Oh my god.” He whispered, arching his back, feeling JB’s hands firm on his hips. JB was filling him up now (the last time definitely had not been ‘it’) and it felt so good, it went from feeling like shit to so good all in a few seconds, what was this magic.

 

“JB…shit…” he bit his lips, those stupid, uncontrollable moans escaping him again, throaty and hungry and desperate. He got it now, quite suddenly. The hype made all the sense in the world, especially as JB picked up speed, and keep hitting him right there, fuck, fuck, fuck, why did he do anything else with his life, ever? He lifted himself off of the bed, till he was nearly upright, his back pressed against JB’s chest. Right there, that was perfect, and his mouth was open in a constant jumble of sounds. ‘Fuckshitahhfuckmmm’.

None of it made any sense, he’d lost his mind. JB’s hand wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, fingers splayed, and he could feel the rhythm of his hips, snapping against him, right **there**. "Fuck! Urgn..." JB’s mouth was against his neck, a bit of teeth and tongue, the perfect amount ( _just right_ ) and Jackson was so deliriously excited because he got all of the hype and the songs and the books about ‘being connected’ and ‘two heartbeats turned to one’ and all of that. He really got it and he had to say it out loud.

“I’m not broken.”

“You’re fucking perfect.” JB wasn’t in the soundest of mind’s right now, but Jackson still loved to hear it. It was music to his ears. His entire life he’d been told to do better, faster, **now** , _right now_ , be the best, second wasn’t good enough, even his _last_ first wasn’t good enough. Come first _better._ He didn’t blame his parents—he didn’t blame anyone. Being the child off two athletes was bound to fuck you up mentally, but he had come out better than many people he knew. It was just how things were. He had thought. He had thought it was how things had to be forever, just him always battling with his mind for dominance, trying not to fall victim to his own emotions.

He didn’t have to.

He didn’t have to be perfect, he didn’t have to be the best, and he didn’t have to _do it now_. JB had been patient with him, through all his ring-arounds and insecurity, and patience was not JB’s strong suit. A few months ago, JB wouldn’t have been patient with him, he would’ve yelled and stormed around and caused a massive fuss. But now he listened to Jackson, and he let him go at his own pace, because he cared enough to. It meant everything to him.

“Jackson…I want you to cum for me.” JB whispered.

“Ok.” Jackson gasped, tossing his head back. JB couldn’t be deeper inside him now, yet he couldn’t have enough.  He leaned forward again, all angles were great now, and his legs were turning to jelly. He bit his lips, gasping frantically. The trusts were slow and deep, then faster, then back to slow. They were all fantastic. “Cumming.” He said, surprising himself. He was, and he wasn’t even touching himself. He could feel that little bundle of nerves inside him twitching, and suddenly he was tightening around JB, but in the best way. “I’m cumming…”

“Me too.” JB whispered. “Jackson you’re so tight, fuck.”

“Ah…shit…shit.” Jackson pressed his face into the pillow. He was so loud; he couldn’t help it. JB’s moans weren’t helping him—they were so genuinely raw he wanted to kiss them out of his mouth. He reached down to touch himself but he was already cumming, and it had been a really smart move to wear a condom because it would have gotten _everywhere_. JB followed shortly afterwards and Jackson was already fantasizing about feeling JB’s warmth inside him next time.

“Oh my god.” JB breathed, collapsing backwards unto the bed, completely spent. He covered his face with both hands, his chest heaving, but he has a massive grin on his face, and Jackson knew he did as well.

“You’re amazing.” He confessed, lying beside JB, his mind abuzz.

“I don’t think I can move again.” JB gasped. “How long did we go for?”

“12 minutes.”

“I’m incredible.”

“We just had sex.” Jackson grinned. “Like…real sex like in the movies. That’s so…cool.”

“You were fantastic.” JB blinked, finally rolling towards Jackson and pulling him against him. “I love you.” Jackson felt him mumble against his hair. JB really liked to smell the top of his head for some reason.

“I kinda love me too.” He grinned.

“You cheeky little bastard.” JB rolled his eyes, but they danced.

“You think anyone heard us?” Jackson asked, sitting up.

“I mean you were kinda—”

“YES.” The chorus of voices outside their door literally forced Jackson’s jaw to the ground.

“Oh my god…”

“Uhhhh, yes, JB, you’re so gooood.” The boys chorused and Jackson buried his face against JB’s chest.

"Give it to me right _there.._." 

_“Does that mean Jackson’s the girl?”_

“Yugyeom, what did I tell you?!?”

“Jackson, I hope you can walk tomorrow, we’re on Mnet.” Had to be Junior. 

“He’s even louder when he’s having sex.”

“Told you.”

“I told **YOU**.”

“He moans like porn. It can’t be **that** good.”

“We should go before leader kills us.”

“He’s in too good a mood to kill us, trust me.”

“I’m not sleeping in there tonight. DISINFECT THE ROOM.”

“I’m hungry.” That last one was definitely Mark.

 

Nothing was a secret amongst Got7, _ever_.

 

 


	16. No Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nothing's over, but it's the end of an era.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JB's perspective--a lot of cheese and emotions. 
> 
>  
> 
> Urgh, I love these boys so much, this specific brand of them. XD Letting go will be hard. There MAY be a sequel or related one-shots in the future, but I'll make no promises. But maybe.

_‘Once you get started, it’s hard to stop.’_ JB had heard that all the time in reference to sex, but he’d always thought it an exaggeration. _Sex wasn’t meth_. He’d had it before, and he’d gone for long periods without it, and that had been fine.

This time was different, and he 100% blamed Jackson. Jackson when he woke up in the morning and he was warm and disoriented, Jackson when he was practicing in front of the mirror the distracting slivers of taut skin dizzying JB. Jackson when he grinned and his eyes danced with laughter. Ok, so it wasn’t _100%_   Jackson's fault. But it was a lot of his fault. Why was he so outrageously attractive?

 

\--

 

“How many times do you think…the average person’s done it at our age?” Jackson had gasped, during their fourth time (and yes, JB fully intended to keep count for as long as he could). “Maybe…I dunno….100?” JB had no idea, and he didn’t care. Sex with Jackson was nearly painful in how good it was, especially like this, with Jackson on all fours. Jackson liked it too, he had admitted. JB was very pleased to watch Jackson’s kinks emerge (the daddy kink had started as a joke but was beginning to stick). “Ok, let’s…uhn…” Jackson gasped, pressing back against JB. “Fuck, I’m cumming…”

“Let’s what?” JB asked, slowing down. “Nononono!” Jackson whined, reaching back for him. “Don’tstoppleaseharder…”

“What?”

“JB…fuck please don’t stop...” Hearing the usually cocky Jackson beg did something inexplicable to JB. He couldn’t have enough of it. “Tell me what you were saying.” He said calmly, bending to kiss Jackson between his shoulder blades. Jackson’s back muscles were a gift to mankind.

“Let’s beat 100.” Jackson moaned, as JB picked up speed again. “Fuck, _r_ _ight there.”_

_\--_

 

 

100 had sounded like a lot, especially with their schedule, which had gotten so much busier since they’d begun promoting their album and were about to move around _a lot_. But, JB was quickly realizing—it wasn’t.

Number 20 came only a week after they’d first done it (by this point Youngjae had decided to move to Mark’s room until further notice). They’d done it over the table, Jackson practically screaming, making absolutely no attempts to be quiet. It was because of that, that JB had discovered another of Jackson’s kinks—being gagged. It was a win-lose because JB loved the sounds Jackson made, but it was also really hot to see him with his mouth covered, plus it meant they could do it in more places, like in the bathroom backstage--number 22,23,27 and 32—so far.

Jackson also really liked to ride him, a lot ( _a lot a lot)_. He loved it against the wall, his legs hooked against JB’s hips, JB’s teeth against his neck--the rhythmic thump combined with the sounds Jackson made was the most erotic thing imaginable. JB liked it _anyway_ Jackson liked it, but Jackson sometimes liked to pretend he wasn’t in the mood (he was always in the mood), and JB quickly realized that was becoming a kink for _him._ Who didn’t like a bit of a challenge?

 

He worked really hard not let their extra-curricular activities get in the way of the group, even though it got hard especially after the one time they’d ended up going the entire night—literally the entire night straight till the morning, resulting in the most awful next day imaginable. It was why they were meeting now, to set some guidelines and get things under control.

 

 

“Ok…so we can’t have sex for more than an hour a day—including quickies.” JB annotated, and Jackson made a face. “Ok.” Jackson replied begrudgingly.

“I really should make it half hour…” JB inspected the note book he was writing the rules in closely.

“Nononono.” Jackson panicked, grabbing the pen from JB’s hand. “I promise it’ll be ok. It’s not like we don’t know how to _not_ do it when things get busy.”  

“I’m not sure you understand how much self-control it’s taking me not to kiss you right now.” JB said, staring at Jackson. “Also you CAN’T wear those super tight tank tops, seriously, I can’t focus while you’re wearing them.”

“Who’s fault is that??” Jackson squeaked.

“Mine, I know my weaknesses.” JB retorted.

“Ok, if clothes are off limits then you can’t wear _those_ jeans.” Jackson said, crossing his arms.

“That’s fine by me, I haven’t been able to wear them anyways because you keep wearing those tank tops!” JB exclaimed, his eyebrows shooting up. Jackson grinned, reaching over the counter to kiss JB and JB threw his hands up in defense. “No! We have to finish this!”

“One kiss.”

“There’s _no_ such thing. Especially with us.”

“I agree.” Junior called dryly from the couch.

Jackson pouted, retreating sadly. “You’ve changed…” he said solemnly.

“From this morning when we had sex?” JB smirked, looking at Jackson teasingly.

“Mh…yes.” Jackson puffed, crossing his arms.

“I promise, I can change.” JB said, covering his heart.

“Great!” Jackson grinned.

“Tomorrow.”

“Mhn…”

 

 --

 

Things eventually found balance as time went on, and by the time they actually hit the _big 100_ , they had figured out how to balance both extremely busy careers, and their relationship. The most important part was that they got to be together often, which was more than most people could say. And after that, they finally decided to stop keeping count, it didn’t really matter anymore.

“Jackson, you’re sleeping with me tonight.” Mark said calmly over his bowl of soup, focusing on picking up bits of pork.

“Mark!” Jackson’s eyes lit up, and he scooted closer to Mark. “Do you miss me??”

“No!” Mark faltered. “I-I just can’t stand Youngjae’s singing anymore. He sings in his sleep and it’s super creepy!”

“Ok…yeah.” Jackson smiled knowingly, and Mark grinned into his soup.

“I don’t miss you.” He clarified. “You should just sleep in your room sometimes…”

Even JB couldn’t get mad—fuck Mark and his endearing nature. “Guys, it’s kind of crazy we’re about to start our ‘Fly’ world tour.” He said, biting into a piece of chicken _Mmm chicken._

“I didn’t think so many people would want to see us.” Youngjae nodded in agreement.

“See _me_.” Jackson clarified, preening.

“No, me!” Yugyeom announced, making everyone look at him in confusion. “Just kidding…” he mumbled, retreating to his bowl.

“I don’t think…I ever thanked you guys.” JB said suddenly, it dawning on him. “For…for supporting Jackson and I through the first months of us dating. I know we had a lot of ups and downs, and fights—”

“And very loud make-ups.” Junior interjected.

“Yeah…” JB said. “But seriously, knowing you guys supported us through it and covered up for us those times we nearly slipped and revealed our cover—”

“Yo, that fanmeet could’ve been a disaster.” Bambam piped. “If Mark hadn’t distracted everyone with his animal ears.”

“Exactly. I feel like…” JB wasn’t sure why he was ‘speeching’. He’d been with this group since day one and watched each member grow into someone special. And now they were doing their biggest tour ever, and international to boot. It felt kind of incredible. Even _Yugyeom_ finally had come to understand the concept of a gay relationship, a feat in and of itself. “I feel like I was an ok leader when we stated. I always used to get mad at you guys, and I didn’t trust myself enough.”

“You still get mad, leader.” Yugyeom said helpfully.

JB shot him a look, effectively silencing him. “NOT AS OFTEN.” He yelled, and there was a round of laughter, forcing even JB to smile. “Uhm…yeah.” He looked around, at Mark, chomping at his chicken skewer, who quietly loved Jackson unconditionally and meant everything to him, to Junior, who for all his sneering and condescending, never failed to make sure everyone was well-fed and well-adjusted. To Bambam, who accepted them with open arms, and despite all of his ‘ew’s probably had the most open heart and mind. To Youngjae, who never stopped smiling and being happy, his spirits constantly lifting the entire group. And Yugyeom, the little minx that always managed to get himself into trouble but never stopped being loveable.

He loved all of them a lot, nearly as much as Jackson, and he hadn’t ever thought he was capable of loving a group of people so much.

“We’re going to tell our parents soon.” He said all at once. The words felt scary to say out loud. “Because…well, it’s been almost 8 months and things are getting kind of serious.” He watched Mark smile gently at Jackson, bumping shoulders with him, and Jackson was blushing so hard, while Yugyeom and Bambam let out twin whoops.

“Remember when we tricked Yugyeom into thinking we were breaking up?” Jackson hyena laughed, throwing his head back. “Classic.”

“Why am I always the victim.” Yugyeom blinked. “I’m gunna get you guys back soon. So mean…”

“Anyways,” JB smiled. “We should go to bed soon because we leave early tomorrow. I just wanted to say thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Junior offered courteously, and JB smirked at him, shaking his head. “Mh…but seriously.” Junior nodded, his expression becoming genuine. “We’re here for you guys any time.”

“And I’m here for you and Jooheon!” Jackson exclaimed. “Don’t think I don’t see you guys dming all the time.”

Junior grinned silently, forcing a shriek out of Jackson. “Seriously??” He yelled, making Mark jump involuntarily.

“Your episodes already aired!” Junior defended. “So I’m free!”

“Wait, so has he actually hit on you??” Jackson asked curiously, his eyebrows shooting up.

“No! Maybe…” Junior mumbled.

“Ohmygod!” Jackson yelled in English. “This is such a scandal! What will I do it you guys date?? This is happening so suddenly?” Poor Mark slowly went deaf beside him, but he calmly ate his soup anyways.

“Jackson, calm down!” Junior said, flustered. “It’s no big deal.”

“Y-you’re no big deal!” Jackson yelled and JB only smiled, because he expected no less from his group.

 

\--

 

“I feel like this tour is going to be insane.” Jackson said quietly. They were on the balcony again, and JB remembered the first time they’d stood here, together, nearly 8 months ago, and Jackson had said ‘ _I like you, you like me, so we’re dating.’_

“Yeah.” He nodded, before frowning. “I really hope nothing goes wrong.” He kept having a feeling something would—it was probably stupid. JB reached for Jackson, pulling him close, kissing him gently. Jackson still tasted like honey, but the familiarity of him made kissing him sweeter than it had even been before. He’d always thought it was something he wouldn’t tire of, and he was starting to suspect he was right.

“I love you.” He said, because he loved the look on Jackson’s face when he said it, loved hearing him say it back. There were a million things he still wanted to do with Jackson, take him on a date, hold hands with him in public, go to an arcade, spin him around in the rain—anything and everything. But it was exciting to know that the longer they dated the more that became a possibility. They wouldn’t be idols forever. But Jackson felt like a forever kind of thing.

“Mh…I should go be with Mark before he gets mad.” Jackson breathed against his shoulder and JB’s arms tightened around him. Waves of nostalgia hit him as he inhaled Jackson’s raspberry blond hair—he’d miss this color when Jackson returned to Black, but he loved every bit of him, all the time.

“I want to be with you for my whole life.” He said, to Jackson, and to no one in particular.

“JB…” Jackson looked at him with those bright, brilliant eyes. “You know you helped me like myself again right?”

“I really do.” JB continued. They both were lost in their own words and thoughts, varying points of views that always ended up intermingling. JB knew he wanted to be with Jackson for as long as he could, Jackson knew love.

_‘If you don’t get off your phone I’m kicking you out of the room. I mean it.’_

_‘Do you **hate** me?’_

_‘I get mad at you…because I have a crush on you.’_

_‘ **Why** do you like me.’ _

_‘Why are you worried? You couldn’t disappoint me. You’re fucking perfect.’_

_‘I’m **not** broken.’ _

_‘You’re mine, ok? No one else’s.’_

“Jackson, all this time I’ve thought…I was fine, and you needed love and stability and then we’d be great.” JB said, blinking rapidly.

“Mhm…” Jackson breathed.

_‘I like you because of how your eyes disappear when you smile with all your heart.’_

_“I honestly don’t know why you like me at all, so I keep thinking the second you find someone better you’ll go to them and I’ll be so miserable because—”_

“That’s _not_ why we’re great. It hasn’t been a one-way street. You’ve helped me love myself more as much as you think I’ve helped you. I didn’t even realize it…” JB blinked, focusing on Jackson.

 

“Oh.” Jackson smiled, kissing him. “I did. You’re a better leader and friend, and it’s all thanks to me.”

 

Leave it to Jackson to swipe his monumental discoveries.

 

 _“_ Who were you texting anyways…when I first yelled at you in rehearsal for your phone.” JB asked suddenly, looking at Jackson.

“My mom.” Jackson smiled, and JB laughed. Wow, he had been _such_ a douche.

“We really should sleep.” Jackson said, reluctantly stepping away and into the flat.

“Mh…” JB followed hm. “I _guess_.”

 

“Wait.” Jackson said, suddenly stopping at his door. “Ohmygod.”

“Mark…why now of all times?” Followed by soft noises—sounded like _kissing_ , and the rustling of material. “I guess I have a jealous streak.” Mark responded, and it was _definitely_ kissing sounds. “Besides… I’ve always thought you were cute.”

“OHMYGOD.” Jackson yelled, shoving the door open. “YOU GUYS ARE REALLY? IS THIS REALLY? WHAT IS HAPPENING!”

Junior rolled his eyes, pulling away guilty and red-lipped from a shirtless Mark, who only looked a little abashed, not nearly enough for the situation. “I-I…” Jackson stuttered, shaking his head blindly.

“DID YOU FIND THE EGG!? DID THE EGG THING FINALLY WORK? Bambam exploded, sticking his head in, camera and all. “…This again?? Eww…”

“Am I the only one in the house who tries to sleep here---Oh! That’s it, I’m taking Junior’s room.” Youngjae griped. “Nowhere is clean!” He stormed towards Junior’s bedroom, passing a sleepy Yugyeom on the way. “Why won’t you guys stop hooking up??”

“Wait…” Yugyeom whispered, upon inspecting the scene before him for a while. His eyes were bleary but calculating, and Bambam started shaking his head, knowing what was coming.

“Don’t—“

“…Who’s the girl this time?”

“YUGYEOM.”

JB grinned, pulling Jackson against him. It was like he always said. Nothing was a secret amongst GOT7, _ever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg omg omg, I got so emotional writing this haha, as I do with EVERY story finish, I'm such a cheeseball and I try not to be but I CAN'T HELP IT. I had 300 alternating endings in mind, some of which involved a few more chapters and were not happy endings, but ultimately, I had to go with this one. It's fluff anyways! 
> 
> I could not help writing in the Jark? Markyoung? It just fit so well with the concept of the boys being nosy little things, plus after teasing at it all fic I couldn't just leave it (I could, but I didn't). This is my first completed Got7 fic, which is probably why I feel so emotional lol. This will always be extremely very very dear to me and I want to thank each and every one of you for reviewing and getting me pumped to write every day! Seriously, all of you, my first reviewers and readers, mean so so much to me. 
> 
>  
> 
> I kind of tried to tie up a whole bunch of concepts, and some interesting ideas came to me as I wrote, I just went with them. Ultimately, I'm happy with how it turned out, despite all the cheesiness. I ended it at the start of 'Fly' tour to hint at the turbulence they would soon be facing with JB's health issues and such, just to show that there will always be rockiness around the corner. 
> 
> Anyways...wow. Thank you for coming along with me and reading. If you read this far, include 'pineapple' in your comment haha. 
> 
> Thanks!  
> <3


End file.
